Monday, August 29, 2011

Isn't God Something Else?

I've struggled with a post all morning. Even sent one but it's not showing. Something has suddenly become very clear in my mind and I must share it. When we first made the decision to move to Ohio I thought life was falling apart. I couldn't imagine living in Ohio. Didn't want to live Ohio. God had been slowly chipping away and I had known we would probably move but Ohio? No. It didn't fit what I thought God wanted for us. It hit me recently that the reason God hasn't provided a house for us may be His creative way of showing me that there are worse things then living in Ohio. You see, for the last month I haven't even struggled with moving to Ohio, all I've struggled with is not having our own place. "Why doesn't God work something out? Surely He'll do something!"...and on and on... "If I could just have my own place! Who cares if it's Ohio?!" Isn't God something else?? And just when I think I have His ways figured out I'll learn something else I suppose!
So, I've started writing this post twice and I keep hitting back space. Problem is I'm not real sure what I'm wanting to say! I've been thinking alot about this whole blogging thing and what my point really is in doing this. I love reading blogs and I love writing so I jumped into blogging! Problem is, I didn't realize how much I was picturing my blog to be read and commented on like all the blogs I follow. I guess now I'm trying to decide if I'm ok with just a place to write and express my feelings no matter if I get feedback and followers or not? Also, what am I really wanting this space to be about? Mostly it's been about personal lessons that God has been teaching me. I like having a place to record those things because it helps me remember them better. But I'm not sure if that's all I want for this space. So I'm rolling things around and trying to sort out what I'm trying to do here. I need to face the fact that my little blog may never get much attention. Am I ok with just blogging to blog or not?

Friday, August 26, 2011

just for anyhow

Just a few random things that I know tonight: 1) beds feel best when you've worked hard 2) three year olds have an endless imagination 3) when you're a grandparent things are cute that parents don't think are 4) end of summer days are lovely 5) living in with someone is plain old hard no matter how you twist it 6) caring husbands are the best thing God ever created 7) I miss my familiar Arkansas but I'm thankful my God, hubby and kidders will always be my familiar no matter where I am 8) my mind is suddenly blank so that must be about all I know 9) it's fun writing something crazy for a change 10) aren't you glad I got to 10? Have a happy week end! :)

Thursday, August 25, 2011

God always has blessings for us if we want to see them. One for me right now is my children's response to all the upheavel and changes in their lives. I am amazed how easily Jennifer (3) and Lillian (1) have gone with the flow of things! Sure there's been times when I could tell their little worlds have been rocked but for the most part the have done super! And now, second day into school for Isaac (9) and Jasmine (7), they are loving it! That is a huge blessing for me cause I felt so bad leaving them in that brand new world the first day with a sea of strangers and unfamiliar school routine. No wonder Jesus tells us to become as little children! I have a lot to learn from their adaptability. I'm awfully curious to know if anybody out there is reading this little ol thing? I'd love to hear some feedback if you are! Tell me, what have you noticed in children that would be an asset for adults to take an example from? Maybe we can help each other learn to follow Jesus' instruction! Any ideas from you? #

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Monday, August 22, 2011

This morning I said good bye to Arkansas, the state I've lived in for 32 years. To 644 Ben Rd, the only house we've ever owned and fixed up. To Shady Lawn, the only church I've ever been a member of. Feels like I've done most of my crying earlier but the lump in my throat as we walked out the door this morning was hard to swallow around. It helped to see Chris wiping tears from his eyes and I knew I'm not alone. This is what leaving and cleaving means. WE are family, him and I and these 4 little souls we've created. No matter where we are, no matter the changes, no matter the adjustments, we're in this together. It's sad to close chapters, sad to leave 10 years of memories and what's familiar. Our story is not all written yet though, and in order for it to read the way the Author wants we have to cooperate with His writing of it! So, I'm beginning the next chapter. The lump hasn't totally disappeared from my throat but I'm ready for God to begin writing, and see what He has in mind next for this story! #

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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Lightning, I dare you to strike!

Well, it's back to the familiar home front. Packing is moving right along. Chris is getting his shop stuff squared away. I think we'll get done what we need to these next four days! (Wait! Was that ME talking??) Chris told me yesterday that I'm so negative that lightning couldn't even strike me.  OUCH! Not a nice thing to say to your spouse!!  I didn't want to accept that I might be that bad but to be honest, I probably am. The truth hurts you know!  So. I'm determining to be positive. Determining to focus on the good stuff - children playing games, older ones reading stories to little ones, stacks of boxes all packed up, my dad taking off work to help Chris, my mom babysitting for me, Chris making arrangements for so many details so things get done, sisters who help me pack, a rocking chair to rock Lillian cause she "wants mom"....and a husband who doesn't just pity me and let me cry, but loves me enough to point out the truth even when it hurts.  Look out day!  I'm positive, so lightning better stay away! :)

Monday, August 15, 2011

The God I Trust

Well, life continues with it's crazy planning of plans, changing of plans and re-arranging of plans! I'm sitting in a van on my way to Arkansas from Ohio. It's quiet. Children are asleep, husband is at the wheel. Street lights flash by, silent lights twinkle in the distance and vehicles glide noislessly along. So many people all around. So many lives being lived. So many stories being written. God is such an amazing God to be able at this instant to look down and see each heart in every vehicle and love each one with a Father's love. I don't really have any profound truth in all this, just thinking. I guess if God is that big He's quite capable of handling my one little life. Probably a God who can see all the hearts of all the people around me in the darkness that I can't even see would find unraveling my constantly changing life no big challenge at all! I guess I was going somewhere with it after all :) So glad I can place my life in the hands of a God like that!

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Exasperating Technology!

So, I had this really great post all ready for last Monday and then I couldn't post it from my phone! And the next day I still couldn't and the next and the..... It's STILL not working! I finally decided to see if I can figure out how to email my posts so here we are! If this works there will be more to come...hopefully...unless something else screws up... Which, by the way, seems to be the story of my life right now! Anyway, so, checking checking... :)

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Thursday, August 4, 2011

Only A Three Year Old

Aaaah three year olds! What a mixture of innocence and awareness, stubborness and sweet helpfulness, unyielding mind set and gullible trust, ability to manipulate and total naivety to appropriate conversation.. It's a sweet age, a challenging age, an exasperating age and a totally lovable age. Who else could tattle on Grandpa cause he didnt take his shoes off? Who else could ask Grandpa why he's drinking orange juice and suggest that he should try water? Who else could turn the tears off over a new pair of scissors? Who else could sing so loud while playing baby that you think the windows just might shake? Who else could stay awake so long at night saying "I'm just so tired of sleeping on the floor I just cant sleep here anymore!"? Who else could say "but I want to" until your anger rises but flash smiles that melt your heart to a puddle? Who else could trust mom so completely to know how to fix everything? Who else has such boundless teaching potential? Only a three year old. O Jennifer! How I love you :)

Monday, August 1, 2011

All I know is, she went!

It's a new day, a new week, a new chapter before me. When I open a good book and turn to the first chapter it's always exciting! I wonder, what's gonna happen next? And quickly devour chapter after chapter! I've been thinking about Abraham's wife lately. I really wonder how Sara was feeling when they "Went out, not knowing whither they went"? I wonder if she was anything like me? Did she struggle to hide her tears from her children as they left all that was familiar? Did she feel like she was drowning in an ocean wondering how in the world this would all work out? Did she long to stand behind her husband and yet want to run as far and fast as possible at the same time? The Bible doesn't say. All we know is that she went with Abraham. I wonder what people will say looking back at me? "Oh she reeeaally had a hard time adjusting!" "Poor thing, that was really hard on her!" Imagine if years from now they would say, "Chris' wife? Weeelll, I don't really know how it was. All I know is she went!" Hello Chapter 1!