It was an inspiring sermon that Sunday. One that brought hope to my weary heart. I was intrigued by the idea of God wanting to be our lover and I felt excited about trying the homework assignment out. Could I actually have the self-discipline to make it happen? Would God actually talk to me?
Let me just tell you one thing: Try it.
I guess I will be completely honest here. I have always, always struggled with the whole Personal Devotions thing. It has always been held up there next to .... I can't even think of a good comparison .... Perfection? Holiness? Basically I have always thought of it in capital letters as the Holy Grail of Christianity. And I've never been able to reach that Holy Grail.
I used to try. Anymore? (I can't believe how hard this is to actually admit.) Anymore I really don't even try. Oh, every once in awhile a verse comes to my mind that I look up and I'll end up reading more verses, or maybe something will come up at church that I want to check out later or I'll read the Sunday school lesson before I'm sitting in class. But a regular, once a day Bible reading time? I don't have one.
You can all close your gaping mouths now and put your eyebrows back down where they belong. I am not trying to say whether I am in the right or in the wrong in this area, I just wanted to tell you about the homework assignment.
I will just say this: those 10 minutes I spent sitting with God every day that week and asking, "What do you want to say to me?" Did more for my soul than any daily Bible reading ever has.
God actually spoke to me. Some of the time I sat there and wondered, "Wait. Did I make that up?" But most of the time it was so clearly Him that I would get teary-eyed. I felt clearly that our conversations were personal, not something to make a blog post out of, but there is one little part that I do want to share because it is so exciting to me!
There was one thing said in the message that Sunday that stood out to me: The Bible is not The Way, a Person is The Way; Jesus Christ. I don't know if I can explain why that hit me so forcefully. It's about Him! What He did on the cross; the relationship He wants to have with me! And He drove that point home one day during one of our 10 minutes together.
I was sitting there in the stillness, waiting to hear what He wanted to tell me. It had been a rather good day and it really didn't seem to me like there would be anything for Him to say. And then He said, "Sometimes lovers just gaze in each other's eyes."
Wow. Did I make that up? No. I don't think I could have. Ok, yeah sometimes they do!
"And sometimes lovers give each other shoulder rubs."
I'm sure my mouth dropped open. You want to be that kind of a lover??
I still feel this awe and amazement just thinking about it. He wants to be my lover; THAT kind of a lover! Yes, we need the Bible, "Thy word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." But Jesus is The Way. He wants to be our lover; our friend; our comrade. He wants to rub our shoulders and gaze in our eyes and give us knowing looks across the way.
He is THAT kind of a Lover.
Maybe you'd like to try it. Give yourself a homework assignment for one week and see what He wants to say to you!
I know all about this very real struggle. I struggle with devotions too. Love the thoughts about sitting with God, Him being our lover. I want that kind of relationship with him.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe my mouth gaped or my eyebrows shot up; but my shoulders may have slumped in relief that I'm not alone. Thank you for your honesty and sharing your experience with God. I want more with God, more of God; I want to hunger and thirst for Him; I want to trust Him for everything, even in the hard things; to thank Him for everything, even the hard things.
ReplyDeleteYes, Bethany, this 10 min thing sounds like a good plan. And, yes, Tabitha, I want to hunger and thirst for, and have implicit trust in God also!!
ReplyDeleteI was one that had the gaping mouth, raised eyebrow look....but for the exact opposite reason that you figured those looks would be for!! I could've hugged you for your honesty...we have the SAME struggles!! Thanks for putting into words my feelings...thank you, thank you! I love the 10 minutes with God plan, and want to try it. Love your blog!
ReplyDeleteI echo the above thoughts. Thank you for your honesty and I also feel relieved knowing I am not alone in this struggle!!
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