A Relationship With God

I've always struggled with daily Bible reading; always, always, as far back as I can remember. I wrote about it here and was a little amazed at the response I got, not only in the comments but some personal emails.

Clearly, I am not alone.

The '10 Minutes With God' idea is not something I have kept up on a daily basis. I still use it sometimes, and I think it has been a helpful exercise in growing my relationship with God. But I have a confession to make: I still find myself grasping desperately for the Holy Grail of daily, personal devotions.

It's been a frustrating struggle over the years. I've struggled with wondering what is wrong with me? Why do others seem to drink deeply from the Word and my attempts end up being more like trying to down dry crackers with no drink available? How does one get to the place where reading the Word is a thing to be looked forward to, not just something to say "At least I did it"? If I am not achieving that Holy Grail am I even a Christian? Is it better to be able to say "At least I did it" than to not do it at all?

I think one of the best things my 10 Minutes With God assignment did was this: it freed me to realize that what God wants the most is a deep, personal relationship with me, and that maybe daily Bible reading isn't the only possible way to have that relationship. I discovered that the relationship was the most important thing, not the specific way I cultivated that relationship. That, just maybe, not doing it at all is actually better than being able to say "At least I did it".

Still the struggle didn't go away completely. After all, if the Bible is God's word it would seem logical to conclude that anyone in a close relationship with Him would enjoy reading what He has to say, wouldn't it?

I think I may have discovered an answer for me. I think. Maybe.

I have purposely held off writing this post for the very reason that I secretly didn't expect my answer to be a lasting one. Even now, one month into my new experience, I'm leery of claiming any sort of lasting victory. Then again, any good relationship is constantly growing and changing. What is special and fresh now might not be next year but that doesn't mean it isn't worth being excited about.

So, I will share my experience with you.

Tomorrow.

And, unlike the poem, I do actually mean tomorrow, May 26. :)