Monday, September 22, 2014

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the fact that I am the age you were when I was born. What did you feel like as the busy mother of five - 14, 11, 9, 7, and 4 - welcoming another little one? I wish I could see you back in those days, cause here I am, nearly in your shoes with five - 12, 10, 6, 5, and 1 1/2! Such an odd feeling.

What would the 35 year old you wish to tell the 35 year old me? Would you want to tell me how nice I have it with my automatic washer and my microwave and no chicken house full of chickens to take care of and a husband who doesn't need to go off to teach at CBS or have a week of meetings in another state?

Would you sympathize with me over lack of sleep and the changing times of children growing up? Would you understand and identify with struggling to find time for just you and the Lord?

And your marriage, what was it like back at age 35? Did you have discussions about how many children you should have? Did you have moments of worry wondering how in the world you would cope should something happen to your man? Did you have disagreements when you wondered why you love this man, and then days of bliss when you loved him more than you thought possible?

How did you feel about being 35, I wonder? Did you look at your sagging belly and disappearing hair and feel old and ugly sometimes? Did you discover yourself worrying about things you never used to worry about and lacking the love for adventure and thrill you used to have?

It's hard to imagine you being my age and me the tiny baby in your arms! It's too bad we have to get so old before we really understand what all our parents did for us! I wonder if the 35 year old you felt as young and lacking in maturity and "having it together" as the 35 year old me does? Funny how time changes things. I tend to think of myself as still "young married" and I certainly wouldn't have thought you would have felt that way when I was born, I wonder if you did?

There's a lot of things I wonder, mom, but there's one thing I know. You survived. You mothered six of us, you worked hard, you loved well, you made mistakes and kept going, you accepted the changes that came with the years, you finished with your Faith intact. Thank you mom! I only hope to do the same.

Love, Bethany

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