31 Days: Facts or Feelings?

In Dr. Emmerson Eggerich’s book ‘Love and Respect’, he uses an example to illustrate how a man and a woman can say the same thing but mean something completely different. The example is this: A woman is getting ready to go away. She opens her closet and studies the contents then says, “I have nothing to wear!” (What she means is, she has nothing new.) A man is getting ready to go away. He opens his closet door and studies the contents then says, “I have nothing to wear!” (What he means is, he has nothing clean.) Same words; completely different meanings.

To me, this example also illustrates so vividly the difference in the way men and women view life. A man’s whole life…brain, thought process; whatever you want to call it…is centered around facts. Fact #1. He is going away. Fact #2. He needs clean clothes. Fact #3. Clean clothes are found in the closet. Fact #4. There are no clean clothes in the closet. Conclusion: “I have nothing to wear!”

A woman’s whole life…brain, thought process; whatever you want to call it…is centered around feelings. In the first place, she probably has some feelings about going away. Maybe she’s not in the mood to go away for the evening but she has to get ready so she checks out her closet; she needs to find something nice to wear to make her feel better! Or, maybe she is excited about going away. At any rate, she checks out her closet - “Not that dress, it makes me feel fat. Not that one either, I wear it every time I go away. That dress always makes me feel like an old duffer. I never liked the color of that one, I don’t know why I made it…...” Conclusion: “I have nothing to wear!”

We laugh at that picture, and it is rather funny and maybe a little stretched but there’s a lot of truth to it, too. As a rule, men live their whole life out of a 'facts' view point - fact 1, fact 2, fact 3: Conclusion. And women, as a rule, live their whole life out of a 'feelings' view point - How will that make me feel? How will that make him feel? How will that make them feel? Conclusion: I don’t even know how I feel!

Okay, okay, I’ll stop :) But seriously, take notice. It really is the way men and women come at life and realizing it will make a difference in this discussion!