17 Things From 17 Years: Post 12

#12: Loving through "sickness and  health, prosperity and adversity" is where deep relationships grow.

Sometimes, when life is rolling along smoothly and there are no misunderstandings, no issues to work through, no major stresses happening, no life - changing events going on, I look at my marriage and think how wonderful it is. It's easy to wish that life could always stay that way.

Interesting thing is, looking back on 17 years of marriage, I can plainly see where the most growth in our marriage has happened. You guessed it. It wasn't when life was rolling along smoothly.

We've had some hard years. I hesitate to even say that. Compared to many other's 'hard', the things I'm talking about are almost nothing at all. But to me they were difficult, to the point that it's been hard to even look back at them sometimes. Part of that is wishing I could go back and do things differently; learn more quickly. But part of it is just plain not ever wanting to live through those things again.

And yet, sitting here looking back -- letting the tears fill my eyes and remembering -- I realize that those very experiences are where our marriage grew the most. If life had always rolled along smoothly, our roots would probably still be spindly little webs, reaching barely below the surface. As it is, our roots have stretched deep and become so intertwined and strong that even when the stresses and the issues come, there is a deep assurance that neither of us is going anywhere and that our commitment to God and each other will see us through.