Thursday, August 29, 2019

Why, Hello There

Last week I wrote this really eloquent post about 'opening the door to a room that's been closed for nearly two months' in which I described the 'cobwebs and dust' and the room 'trying to get me to come back' and my arguments about 'tears and heartache and stories that can't be told'. Last night I re-read the draft and thought to myself, "How silly. Why don't you just  cut out the dramatics? Why don't you just say: A lot has happened. I can't talk about it. I want to get back to blogging. Here we go."

I like that a lot better than a creepy room with dust and cobwebs and a closed door.

Here we go.

    ----------------------------------------
Hi. My name is Bethany Eicher. I still live in Ohio with my husband, Chris, and our five children.

Chris and I,
at Calvary Bible School
this summer, 

Here we all are,
 in front of the cabin at CBS
where Chris and I
 spent our first night together. 
I wanted to try for a better
picture but it was all
I could do to persuade
some people
to even take one...

School has begun once again and this year finds me at home alone five days of the week.

First day of school
2019

I know. Unbelievable. Honestly? I am loving it. The quiet hours are just amazing and I feel slightly guilty every day for the amount of time I have on my hands to work on projects that have been pushed to the side for months. But I'm choosing to throw the guilt out the window and accepting each quiet day that I have as a special gift. These days could end at any time because several weeks ago we finally, finally became licensed for Foster Care.


Some day maybe I will tell you that whole story. Maybe. I'm not making any promises about anything right now. I've learned in the last six months that there are some things you just cannot write about. Sadly, I let that fact shut down my voice altogether. It's hard to be authentic and discreet; I finally convinced myself it was impossible. I'm still not sure how to make the two hold hands peacefully but I cannot stop writing. My soul has shriveled in these past months of silence and that is not what souls were meant to do.

A Fisher Price 'tag sale'...
The young entrepreneurs woke
up the next morning
to find $5 and a note saying
that daddy had bought
out the whole sale!

One of the projects I've been able to work on, in these golden, gifted days, is a dream that my mom had for years -- writing the birth story of the little mission church I was raised in in the hills of Arkansas. Ever since mom's death, we've been tossing this idea around that someone needs to write her book for her. My sister and I have finally... kinda-sorta-pretty-much... committed ourselves and it's been in that process of reading through stories and rewriting other's words that I've felt that spark again inside and I feel my soul breathing a sigh of relief.


So, here I yam. I know I don't owe any of you an apology, that all of you understand how life happens. But I have missed writing and interacting with you in this 'little room', if you will. Hopefully some of you are still hanging around to listen to my yammering and give me friendly encouragement after all this silence.


And now, it's a beautiful, glorious day outside and high time that I stepped out there and enjoyed some of it!


19 comments:

  1. That was really lovely! You have a great words with words. I really like how you combined the 2 ways of expressing yourself. We had a rough summer as well, and all to often the hard stuff is more internal and so many people don't see the 'walking wounded."
    I'm excited about your journey to becoming a foster family! You guys will definitely be in my prayers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your prayers, Mattie. I know we will need them!

      Delete
  2. Oh hi there! You're still with us? :) :) Well, that is a fantastic project you and your sister are doing....I definitely want that book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup. Still here! I'll have to see that you get one... five years from now or so when we finally get it done... 😉

      Delete
  3. It's good to hear from you again, Bethany!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh! I'm glad your back. I have missed hearing about whats going on in your corner. Blessings to you and yours!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sooo good to hear from you again. (I'm not happy that you went through a difficult time, but I am glad to know that you found out you HAVE to write, because we do need to hear your voice) And, please, I want a copy of your book!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am sure you will hear about it if/ when we actually complete the project!

      Delete
  6. Yesterday I thought about leaving a comment just saying I miss you. I debated too long and didn't. I am so glad to hear from you again.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think I know kind of how you feel. I went through a difficult time about eight years ago, and I didn't feel free to talk about it. It made me feel old and tired to keep the stress bottled up. LRM

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have been checking your blog for updates, and I'm glad to see that you are blogging again. We're coming to Ohio for a visit in October or November, so obviously that made me think of you:-) I'm sorry that you have been having a hard time lately. I can relate.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Bethany it's sooo good to hear from you! You know, it's really nice to have quiet. I know when my family is out and I'm alone I tend to get more things done.
    Are you still crocheting? If so what have you been working on?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Going to repeat what other have said SO GLAD you are back, was gonna throw you an email if you ahdnt written:) yup my 3 are back in school, I have 2 out and one going to preschool this coming spring!:)
    Glad you DUSTED and cleaned the cob webs out!:)

    ReplyDelete

Two words about comments:
#1. If you leave a comment and it seems to disappear, that's because all comments go straight to my email and I publish them later.
#2. I know putting a comment out there for the world to see is scary but just know this -- if you leave a comment, you make my day!