Sun, April 12
I'm sitting outside alone again. I wonder why that's the only time I seem to be able to string words together these days? Actually, I don't wonder at all.
My oldest loves frisbee golfing. Since his hours at work have been cut back drastically, he's been turning the game into a regular hobby. Every time he goes, and especially if he takes Jasmine with him, I feel a little bitter. Must be nice to just run off and do something fun, you know? Well, this evening Jasmine said, "You're going with him!" And Isaac said, "Sure, I don't care."
Oh, it was lovely.
I am terrible at frisbee golf. There's nothing like tagging along with your 17 year old son to make you feel like the old lady you really are!
But walking around the course with him and not needing to be responsible for anyone but myself was so refreshing. And when I got tired of walking and entertaining him with my lame throwing, I found a bench and enjoyed the breeze.
There were signs of Spring all around -- from the green, green of the grass to the fresh, pale leaves on some of the bushes and trees. There were bright splotches of yellow dandelions dotting the waving grass and tucked here and there were tiny, purple violets for the people who took close notice.
We weren't the only ones out enjoying the evening. Across the way to my left, an older gentleman was whiling his time away with a golf club. Standing in the lower ballfield, he methodically practiced his swing -- sending golf balls sailing into the upper ballfield and beyond. He must have had quite a collection of balls, because this exercise went on for quite some time. Eventually the stash was spent or his time was up; he spent the rest of his time wandering around the area retrieving his balls. I predict that by the time golf courses re-open his friends will have quite a competitor to deal with!
Listing my many blessings doesn't make all the bad things magically disappear. It can help to change my perspective though and perspective is everything when you're looking at how things appear.
* * * * * *
Mon, April 13
I started my morning with this cheerful, inspired Instagram post:
"Get yourself a daughter who makes you breakfast.... and a son who let's you tag along frisbee golfing.... and a husband who pitches right in with foster care just like he always has with fathering his own... It's so easy these days to get bogged down with the hard parts of life but perspective is everything and I am so very, very blessed. "
I'm pretty sure if I had known how my day would go, I would have kept my mouth shut. The day included -- among other things -- both me and my first grader in tears, multiple time outs, countless petty fusses, rain, clouds and cold wind. I'm tempted to say the perspective thing did nothing for me at all today.
But if I remember that perspective doesn't magically make the bad things disappear, I can look back at this day and shift my eyes to see --
* The first grader and I wiping our tears, praying together and tackling school with a will.
* No kicking and screaming included in the time outs and some sweet snuggles afterward.
* My two middle girls making a treasure hunt for the little ones with their own precious candy.
* The dad taking over after supper and some of the happiest playing of the day ensuing.
* The promise that Spring is coming, even though today didn't feel like it.
It still wasn't my favorite day. I'm still looking forward to bedtime and the rivalry and fussing still make my brain feel weary. But perspective is still everything, so I'll focus and re-focus and keep doing it again.
* * * * *
That was his frisbee stuck in the tree.
Another perspective. This one is rambling:
ReplyDeleteLiving alone has some advantages, but there are disadvantages. I think there have been days that I didn't see anyone else. No one to get into disagreements with in person or to agree with. Thank God for phones, email...
It seems there is so much to think about. Maybe it's worse because I am alone. I don't think I'm really worried. But this is such a strange time. And we don't know long the strangeness will last, and what all the fall-out will be.
Since this saga started, we have had three funerals in our three local sister churches, just private grave-side services. But they were live-streamed so the rest of us could watch and listen in. I don't remember ever noticing it before, but there were various truck drivers passing by on US 50 within sight of the cemetery, that expressed their condolence by tapping their horns. Knowing all of us are facing this pandemic seems to have a unifying effect in a way.
Let's pray for our government leaders, for wisdom and courage to do the right things. And for the rest of us that we would do our part. LRM
Big girls are such a blessing! Loved the phrase "it's so hard to remember what happened when and which day was what." So true these days. Blessings to you as you keep readjusting your focus!
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