May Photo Dump

Confession: "May Photo Dump" is the kind of thing one comes up with when one doesn't know what one should write about.

The weather this week has been absolutely glorious! I think warm weather is finally here to stay, and I couldn't be happier. 

The other week the neighbor lady brought over all kinds of starts from her flowerbeds. Jasmine was in heaven; digging and planting and planning!

We are very unsophisticated - read: we're cheap - when it comes to flowers and landscaping (and pretty much everything else, come to think of it.) Jasmine has spent hours on the hilly space  beside our front steps, digging out terracing by hand with a shovel, making a stone wall, adding compost from her pile and from the woods and planting things. She's got a nice herb garden established now and is working on more flowers and bushes. 

Her cilantro stayed green all winter and I harvested a huge stash this spring!

None of what she's done looks picture perfect, because she (like me) refuses to spend much money. I love it so much though. 

Last week we spent an almost ridiculous amount of time making one of her dreams come true. 

It started with a lot of time spent in the woods with a rusty, old saw and 

a pair of pruning sheers... 

and a hefty side of elbow grease. 

Then, we proceeded to be those women 

who can measure and saw and nail 

and do it themselves.

Yes, we were rather proud of ourselves

 at this point. 

Our first attempt at the roof was a fail

And we ended up needing the man of the house to step in with his screw gun 

to accomplish plan B.

(Yes, that is a level that you see;

 this girl does things right.)

It still needs some stabilizing help but all in all, it was time well spent for

 our "free" arbor.

I thought I had killed the clematis plant I bought last year, because it wouldn't climb on a post. I'm so thrilled that it's thriving with my little, homemade ladder/ trellis! (I say thriving; I know it's still tiny but at least it's growing.) I love how it wraps it's tendrils around the sticks and knows exactly what to do. 

The other creators around here stay busy with legos...

And miniature versions of our bigger project

I love it. 

And, that's a photo dump. Hope you enjoyed it!

Dear Mom

Mother's Day has come and nearly gone. 

We've gone to church, listened to all the nice things said to the women, eaten our lunch cooked by the men. We had nice naps and soft pretzels made by the daughters. We spent some time with the in-laws, where we came away with gifts from the mom, instead of vice versa. It's been a good day all around. 

But tonight, my heart feels a little tired and my eyes feel a little weepy. I'm ending the day thinking about you, Mom. 

May 6th came and went last week; seven years that you're gone. I knew the anniversary was coming up but I nearly went through the whole day without remembering! Somehow tonight, the sadness of that fact hits me hard. Of course I want to move on and live life, but I don't ever want to forget -- what kind of person forgets?

Grief is so strange, Mom. Even when I remembered it was May 6th, I could have hardly cried a tear if I'd tried. Today, sitting in church listening to people say lovely things about their mothers, I shed a few tears only when my own daughter stood up and took the mic. Tonight? Tonight I could cry buckets over the weariness of this world and the pain of living and the ache of missing you, Mom. 

I've said it before, and I'll say it again -- I'm so glad you could slip away peacefully in your sleep. So glad you didn't have to go through old age or cancer or dementia or pain and suffering. Would that we could all go as easily and effortlessly as you. 

But tonight I'm missing you. I miss your smile and your laugh and your voice. I miss your letters and your notes and your emails. I miss all the games you would have played with your grandchildren; the stories you would have read; the treasure hunts you would have made. I miss all the advice you would have given me these past seven years; all the questions you would have answered. I miss all the times when I would have told you things -- big, life changing things and small, unimportant things. I miss the prayers you would have prayed; I miss just knowing you were there. 

Life goes on, Mom. Sadness comes and goes, joy ebbs and flows. As long as we're here in this broken world, we'll hold the tension of it all together -- the laughter and the tears, the pain and the healing. At the close of this Mother's Day, it seems fitting to cry the tears and count the blessings, all in the same little space. Because, the truth is, Mom -- there are a lot worse reasons to be crying than the reasons I'm crying tonight. 

Thank you for all the good, good memories; for being the kind of Mom who is missed. That is a blessing I don't ever want to forget. 

Love, Bethany 

10 Pros and Cons: Cape Dresses

A while back I wrote about some pros and cons of homeschooling and I thought it might be fun to come up with more pro and con subjects. 

As a little explanation for this post -- I grew up in a church where the women wore homemade, cape dresses. The church we now attend allows other types of modest clothing, but I have chosen to continue wearing homemade, cape dresses. So, here are my 10 pros and cons in no particular order...

1) It is what I've always worn. I like the way they fit and look. When there is no compelling reason for change, why change? 

Sometimes it would be fun to do something different for a change but mostly I like not having to figure out a new way of dressing. 

2) It offers less temptation for excess. I feel like the principle of modesty includes amounts of possessions as well, and when I can't pick up a $2 skirt at Goodwill but need to make my clothes instead, it automatically cuts out some needless excess clothing. 

Sometimes a little more excess would feel less boring. 

3) It encourages me to pass on an invaluable skill. I think sewing is a valuable skill for my girls to learn. I know me well enough to know that if I didn't have to sew my clothes, it wouldn't be long before the skill would be lost. 

I am not a teacher. I actually don't really enjoy teaching this skill to my daughters. 

4) It makes choosing my outfit for the day simple. There's no need for putting together countless outfits -- I pull out a dress, and put it on!

Sometimes it would be fun to have more options for coordinating clothing. 

5) It is a little extra personal discipline in being intentional about what I wear. When I make my own clothing, it's harder to excuse a short skirt or sheer fabric or too large neckline -- I sat down and made that myself, I didn't just pick it up at a yard sale or thrift store because it was cheap. 

I will admit, when the dress so laboriously made does not fit, the option of buying things looks pretty attractive. 

6) It utilizes a skill that I enjoy. Sewing is a creative outlet for me, so why not use it?

Ask me this question when I need to pick out a seam or adjust a pattern for a growing girl; my answer might be very different. 

7) It is a personal, focal reminder that I belong to another Kingdom. Cape dresses are a unique way of dress that serve as a reminder to myself that I am representing Jesus and others will notice. 

Sometimes it would be nice if the reminder wasn't quite so focal. Pretty sure I could be reminded in more obscure ways. 

8) It makes it almost impossible to blend in with the world at large. Anyone who sees me knows immediately that there is something different about me. It is a natural generator of questions and conversations. 

Some days I would rather just blend in. 

9) It is a good way to dress modestly. Cape dresses are certainly not the only way to dress modestly but they are a good one. 

Sometimes I feel like choosing other ways of dressing modestly would be a lot easier. 

10) It is a way to honor my husband. My husband prefers cape dresses over skirts or even other kinds of dresses. He thinks they look pretty and feminine -- I kinda want to look that way for him. 🙂

There is no con for this one.