Ten Year Blogiversary

 I kind of missed the big day, but so it goes -- a week ago today, my blog turned ten years old. TEN YEARS.

Wow. A lot has changed.

Back then, my phone would only allow about 200 words per post and no pictures. Everything I wrote was short, and the words carefully selected. I still tend to write that way, and I think some of it comes from those early years of blogging. 

I didn't have a big vision for my blog when I started it. Mostly, I had always liked to write, and this felt like a creative outlet where I didn't have to meet magazine guidelines or editor revisions. It was a place to kind of say what I wanted, if I wanted, and how I wanted to. So many people marvel at me being able to put myself out there for all the world to see and it's hard to explain why a shy, quiet person would do that all these years. I think the biggest thing was that I began my blog for fun. I didn't look at it as pressure or big expectations, I looked at it as doing something I enjoyed. 

I will be quick to admit that there came a time down the road when I turned it into me putting pressure on myself to meet unspoken expectations. That's always when my writing would struggle. There was a point where my blog was almost my identity, and it took going silent for awhile for me to move past those feelings. 

I don't have the same passion for blogging that I did 10 years or even 5 years ago. I don't feel the creative urges that it used to bring out of me as much. I also don't put the extreme pressure and expectation on myself anymore either. It's a good thing and a not good thing -- I miss the old passion and wonder if it's possible to have one without the other?

2011

Seasons of life affect so many things; I am in a very different season than I was ten years ago. My children were ages 9, 7, 3, and 1 and I was facing one of the biggest changes of my life -- moving from Arkansas, where I had been born and raised, to Ohio. I was a busy mother, with very little time to pursue any outside interests. I was an introvert, who found initiating/ pursuing relationships and activities difficult. Blogging was, not only a creative outlet, but a way to connect with people without being face to face. I don't know that that was always all healthy, but it was definitely the spot that blogging filled in that season of my life. 

2021

Ten years later, my children are ages 19, 17, 13, 11 and 8. My life is not nearly so 'mothering' focused and I don't need blogging to fill the spot that it used to nearly as much. For the least two or three years, I have grappled with whether blogging fills any spot of importance in my life or not? Has the season passed? Is it time to let it go?

As I look back over ten years, what is it that I have enjoyed about blogging? At the top of the list is the interaction I've had with strangers who I have never, and probably will never, meet. The personal emails I've gotten are some of my very favorite gifts from blogging. I love the comments/texts/messages. Never, ever underestimate how much your feedback will mean to a blogger. Try to imagine what it means, and then multiply that by 1,000. Verbal feedback is also nice but I'll be honest, it's a lot more awkward and uncomfortable. I have also enjoyed a place to practice my gift. I process best by writing and it's not easy to find places to use that gift; blogging has been a safe, enjoyable place to do that. 

Contrary to what you might be thinking, I didn't come here to announce that I'm going to stop blogging. I mostly came here to ruminate and remember out loud for a bit. 

Also, to celebrate ten years of this little corner of the internet. 

Now, if you'll join me, let's cut the imaginary cake and serve ourselves our favorite beverage and you talk to me -- when did you start reading here? Why did you stick around? What are some of your favorite memories? I'd love to hear!