My Second Born

Confession: When Jasmine texted me a year ago in December and asked, "Shall I tell Uriah I'll date him?" My immediate reaction was "No!"

Jasmine is our oldest daughter, the second born child. Incidentally, that is one of the few places that she has ever come in second. Jasmine was my shortest labor and birth. She sat at four and a half months, said her first words and took her first steps at 9 months, repeated everything she heard by a year old, and was potty trained at eighteen months. The over-achieving didn't stop there, Jasmine was always eager to learn how to do the next thing -- tying her shoes, combing her hair, writing her name -- you name it, and she probably did it at a younger than average age. I always knew that once this child was released into the adult world, her wings would be spread wide to fly!

When Jasmine graduated from high school, and the perfect job turned up for her right here at home, I breathed a private sigh of relief. At least I'd have all my children at home for one more year. Alas and alack, one little "student week" at Sattler College quickly dashed that idea to pieces!

When Jasmine left for a year at Sattler, it was a hard goodbye for me. I knew in my heart that the wings had been spread and this child was going to fly. Obviously, I wanted her to fly; encouraged her to! But, oh my. The change felt so big; so irrevocable. 

I won't go into how we all survived -- all thrived, actually. We grew and changed and discovered how amazingly adaptable God created us to be. All that to say, when Jasmine texted me last December, my immediate reaction had nothing to do with the young man who had asked her. It had everything to do with me clinging to one last little thread of hope that this over achieving second born would maybe, just once, do something in her life at an age that was later than average.  

Just so you know, I got over it. 

I am quite happy and excited to announce to the world that Jasmine and Uriah are engaged! We are so thrilled for them. 

It's been a privilege to have a front row seat in their journey together. I'm not here to tell you their story, but I will say a few things: I have watched these two and seen their desire to follow Jesus. I've watched them have hard conversations with each other. I've watched them reach out and care for the people around them. I've watched them laugh together and cry together. I've watched them walk through Jasmine being diagnosed with Lyme. I've watched them grieve their losses and grapple with whether this relationship was worth all the work. I've watched them be real and honest with each other. Through it all, I've watched love -- the slow, steady kind; the kind that is a choice, not just a feeling -- bloom and grow and flourish. I am grateful. 

As a parent, the terrifying truth is that we have no control over the choices our children choose to make. We teach them and train them and guide them, but in the end, the path they choose to take is up to them. Because of Jasmine's personality and over-achieving nature, I have often laughed when people commended us on her actions or successes and said, "What makes you think we had anything to do with it??" Ultimately, I am so grateful to God for the path He has led her on so far. I am grateful that He chose to cross her path with one, Uriah O'Terry, and I look forward to seeing the paths He will lead them on together.