Thankful Heart

Poor little neglected blog.... every time I sit down to write these days, my mind feels blank, and the more I try to conjur up words and thoughts and profound-ness, the blank-er it feels. I once saw a motto that said, "If you have nothing to say, don't let anyone persuade you to say it!" So maybe I should just leave it blank and quit trying to persuade :) Life is full and busy these days. There's snow and sledding and games and family time up the hill going on this week. There's practicing Christmas program songs and mounds of wet clothes and boots to keep after along with the usual unending laundry, cooking, cleaning.......and all of that! It's a good life. There's a baby crawling around, cleaning up my dirty floors and charming us w/ grins, there's little girls trying to learn the fun of Dutch Blitz, there's big girl serenading us w/ Christmas songs on the keyboard as she diligently practices, there's the oldest reveling in an Uncle visiting who loves games as much as he does! Yes, my heart is Thankful.

That's My Father

I had spent the night wondering why I was crazy enough to consent to this. Now I was on my way for an hr and 45 min drive, by myself w/ 3 little people and me not at all confident of my driving capabilities! My mind tumbled over what ifs and my shoulders tensed and I contemplated how and when to make the dreaded stop for gas. First thing would be best, I decided, so I pulled into the empty station and began fueling. Only it didn't come, and I noticed the "Prepay" sign. As I leaned into the van, filling out my check, here comes a man out of the station. "I didn't notice the prepay sign," I explained. "Can I just give you my check?" His face became apologetic, "We don't take checks." "Oh, I guess I'll have to go on," and I prepared to do so. He stammered around a bit, then, "No, no. Just go ahead!" "No, it's fine!" "Go ahead-you look nice." Well, Ok then! :) And there was my Father, removing the need to drag everyone in to pay for gas, and I suddenly felt the tension drop like a weight. That's My Father!!!

When Your Time Won't Reach Around (Part 3)

I blame my battle w/ this deal on lots of things-I need to be more structured, I'm just so tired from being up at night, I should take my vitamins and B Complex consistently... There's truth in all of these. Maybe it has more to do w/ Chris' announcement the other day that "It's not that men think 'blue' and women 'pink'. It's that men Think but women don't Think, they Feel!" Before you crucify him :) let me add that he wasn't saying one was right and the other wrong. He was simply saying you have to realize that fact to understand the two. It all reminded me of something I read in the book "Tea And Trouble Brewing" - "If not having a mother is like being at sea level, and having a perfect, smiling, patient mom...is like being at the top of Mount Hood, then a flawed...mom...is actually about at Timberline Lodge." Yes, I should take my vitamins and try for a nap and more structure maybe, but at the end of the day I have to remember that my children HAVE a mom, and that is indescribably better than no mom!

When Your Time Won't Reach Around (part 2)

When I talk about not having enough Time, I'm not even talking about being busy. The thing is, is this: I'm not even really busy. I'm not a Minister's Wife, or School Principal's Wife, nor a SS Teacher or Food Committee Member. I don't run around spending the day w/ people or shopping or doing extras, I stay home most of the time. Granted, I'm gone sometimes. I spend time on the road to and from school and I don't just sit here doing nothing, but I'm not Busy. Somehow, w/ #5 though, I've felt this overwhelming drain on my Time. It's wearing to feel so Needed and then, in the midst of the press, to constantly be left feeling like you're satisfying no one! A mom is expected to be everything to all people in her little realm and, I confess, I fail miserably! The demands for Time in my little realm are so very important, and I think the knowledge of that fact is what sends me reeling w/ hands thrown up feeling pulled hither and yon and doing none of it well. I feel like the proverbial cat chasing it's tail!

When Your Time Won't Reach Around

I feel bombarded with the need of my Time these days. "It's so important, as a mom, to take time for your children!" they tell me, and I look at my 5. There's no simple formula for them-they all need a different kind: rocking chair, story reading, game playing, help w/ studying, question and answer, listening, teaching.... "You must take time for your husband," they admonish me. "You're his biggest cheerleader and you need to make time for him!" I look at my man. No simple formula there either. No once and done/this will do it every time... "It is crucial for you, as a mom, to take time for yourself" -everyone's saying it! And, "It's essential to spend time w/ God!!" My head reels w/ the need of time! As soon as I focus on Children Time, I find the Husband Time in dire need of attention. When Husband Time is satisfied, the Children Time seems to scream 'take notice'! And there sits Me Time in hopeless need of resuscitation! God Time? Non-existant. How, in a day that has only 24 hrs, do you find the time??

This Thing Called F-f-fear

Have I mentioned that I am one of the world's Biggest Chickens? When I look back to days of youth, I think I've maybe shrunk to "chick" size by now, but then things come along and I realize anew that I'm still up there at Biggest status! I now have a child who is following in my footsteps and it gives me pause as I observe. I heard a story last night about Measuring Sticks and how they turn into swords to tear others down in order to make me feel better. There's another thing Measuring Sticks do, they produce Fear. They hold you back from doing good, from following His Spirit-because how would it look? Or what will they think? They hold you back from being free in your own skin, in your own convictions-what if I don't fit in? What if that's not what others would do? Fear is a monster. It hinders...cripples...kills...it keeps your mouth shut in SS class, it makes you try 3 pairs of shoes before going to *not telling* :) I could give you many more shame faced examples! And now I have a child to teach...hmmm

A Cup of Comfort

When I was a little girl, Sunday morning breakfast was a looked forward to treat! The fare was simple - a glass of water, a hot drink and something to dunk in it. My parents weren't coffee drinkers so the hot drink was either tea or cocoa. In my mind, mom's cocoa couldn't be beat! Warm, chocolatey, rich flavor and always with marshmallows - setting the table on Sunday morning included putting marshmallows in each cup in preparation for that lovely cocoa! Most of my children seem to have inherited my husband's distaste for hot drinks. I don't even mind! That means I can indulge in them all by myself w/o needing to fix a cup for everyone else :) Recently I found an old, orange slip of paper in my recipe file. On it was instructions mom had come up w/ for making 1 cup of her lovely cocoa in the microwave! Guess what I've been drinking lately? :) In a coffee cup place 3 heaping tsp sugar, 3/4 tsp cocoa, 1/4 tsp vanilla and 2 T water. Heat 20 sec and stir. Fill cup w/ milk and heat about 1 min. Stir and enjoy!