Day 23: Thinking........

Some feed back from a few of you has set me thinking in these hours on vacation, and what I've been thinking is this: why is it so hard for us women to look at the husband and wife's commands separately? It seems you can't have a discussion on submission w/o the women immediately piping up "Yeah, but the men..." I've decided it's because to a woman marriage is all about relationship. Men read their command and say, "Ok. This is what I promised to do." Women read theirs and say, "Woah! What about his side? What if he doesn't do what he should? What if I do my part and he runs all over me? That's not fair! You can't have a relationship like that!!" It's a little like a business. We would agree that a good business means they make good money. We would also agree that if it becomes all about making the money, you soon ruin a good business! A marriage IS about a relationship. But when my focus is on "But the men! Relationship, relationship..." instead of focusing on my command, I think it becomes detrimental!

Time out...

I am at this lovely resort in nashville, tn right now with chris and charles while chris takes in the goodyear convention!! I may or may not get any posts written to continue my series :) just a little heads up to let you know what's going on and give you a much needed break on this everlasting submission deal this woman can't quit talking about!! :)

Day 22: The Point, In Case You Haven't Caught It

I don't know about y'all, but I feel like I've gone rather on and on and around and around with this subject now! I wonder if I'm even making any sense?? So, let me just say it clearly here: I don't believe Submission and Silence are synonymous. My point is: Submission Is An Attitude. It is not disrespectful to express concerns, opinions, feelings, etc and have a conversation about it, not at all! Just remember that you're not his mother and do it w/ the attitude that ultimately you expect him to take responsibility for your family, therefore he has the ultimate veto power too. There's not many husbands that are gonna disregard that attitude! That's the beauty of God's plan: it works. Now, on to some practicality. I can ramble on and on about theory for 31 days til I'm blue in the face, but if I can't put shoe leather to it, I should have shut up long ago! What are some important areas/ways to show respect? I'd love if you'd share some w/ me :) (comment, FB, email...) Now, shoe leather coming right up!

Day 21: The Salad Story

It was a crazy week- 2 funerals at church, 2 different meals to help with food, and company coming for the weekend. I'd been wanting for weeks to go shopping for some things besides groceries, but it never seemed to work out. I finally asked straight up ( that's another post) and Chris said pick me up at noon and I'll take the afternoon off! (Wow. Love this man.) We're almost back home after a lovely time and it hits me: I didn't get the stuff to make my salad for supper before visitation the next day!! I was just sick! Now, my husband loves to think outside of the box. He said, "Call the lady in charge and see if they're having salad at the funeral. Maybe you could trade with the person making it for the funeral and I could bring your stuff home from work." (Seriously, could you even follow that?) I said no way am I calling the lady in charge! That's ridiculous! They probably aren't even having salad at the funeral and besides, it's too complicated to even explain! No. They have enough hassle planning all these meals without that yet! As I said the words, I knew I was wrong. I knew I should just pick up the phone and call, but Oh! How I didn't want to! #1. I absolutely hate making phone calls and #2. I felt too stupid to explain my dumb mistake! I tried to explain why I didn't want to all the while knowing I should just do it. Chris said fine, drag your kids to town in the cold in the morning! Finally I gritted my teeth and dialed the number. No one answered! So, we went to bed with me planning to go to town in the morning. After Chris leaves for work I get a text, "Um, I guess your keys are here at the shop..." O.my.word. So now in order to do it my way I'll have to borrow a vehicle!! So...I pick up the phone again, and the lady in charge answers, and I swallow my pride and explain my predicament. And she said? You'll never guess. "You know what, we had nearly a whole bowl of salad left over from another meal that needs to be used, just forget about your salad!" And just like that it was taken care of! A very humble me tells the story to my husband, and an even humbler me says, "I'm sorry. I wouldn't have had to act like you were crazy. I could have nicely explained why I didn't want to call and not been disrespectful!" Thankfully, I have a very forgiving husband!

Day 20: A Heart Position

It goes without saying, of course, that doing things right the first time is the best way. None of us like people who treat "I'm Sorry" like an over used excuse to mess up! But that's not really what I meant when I said "Perfection is not the Requirement". One of you asked "Is there hope? Do we ever get it?" And I smiled because I so know that feeling! Here's my point- if my main focus is to get to the place where I never do anything disrespectful, I'm in for a lot of frustration and discouragement! I really think submission is more of an attitude, a position of the heart, if you will. Let's face it: we're human! Even after 8 yrs on this journey, I'm still going to have "Salad Stories"! But, if my heart has learned to quickly turn to the position of submission, the story is going to end differently than it would otherwise. Which means I HAVE learned and I'm not a failure! Wait, didn't I tell you the Salad Story? Well, it happened right in the middle of all this going on and on about submission.........

Day 19: Perfection Is Not The Requirement

Chris thanked me more than once that year, even bestowing upon me the title of: "Mrs Respect and Submission" :) Still, I felt like a failure because I struggled and struggled! Here's what I've finally realized...remember how one of Chris' biggest issues was my lack of concern about submission? I was saying "I know this stuff." "I didn't mean it that way at all!" "Submission isn't as big a problem as you're making it!" I was refusing to accept the fact that Submission is a command and I wasn't obeying it! When I acknowledged that, yes, submission is a command and I want to obey God - When I began to Long to be that wife that "Got It" and began paying attention to whether or not I was living it out- *I basically took care of that issue!!* Chris didn't expect me to never remind him about the important phone call or question his fathering decisions or talk too long when he was ready to go. He didn't expect me to be perfect. What he did want, was for me to notice and be concerned and change when I messed up!

Day 18: To Be Like Sarah

A job offer in OH seemed like the open door we were looking for when financial pressures and lack of work were sending us to our knees wondering, what next? Moving on faith with no house at the other end didn't seem like such an open door though, not to me anyway! It wasn't what the man in charge would have chosen either, but it seemed like the only way. That was one of the hardest years of my life and I was thankful for every lesson God had taught me on submission in preparation! I wanted so much to be like Sarah -there's no record, anyway, that she struggled w/ Abraham's decision to go out not knowing whither he went- but I found myself failing over and over. One of the things Genevieve said in her book was that God is sovereign. He can speak to my husband any way, any time, anywhere He wants to. It doesn't have to measure up to my desires! I must keep in mind it's the Lord who is really leading through my husband. I began to realize something in that year of longing to do it right and so often failing.