In Honor Of Fathers

*This poem was written six years ago and I thought I would share it again on this Father's Day.

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It's been on my mind, 

And weighed on my heart

Til I've picked up a pen

And decided to start...

The subject is Fathers,
This thing on my mind,
To the value of Fathers
It seems we are blind.

To bring forth a child,
Two people are needed -
A man, and a woman,
This must be conceded.

Perhaps it's just me,
Or maybe it's true?
It seems that the Mothers
Get all the ado.

The sermons on Mothers
Seem heaped full of praise,
While Dads are admonished
To change in their ways.

Mom's work, we are told,
Just never gets done,
It's true - round the clock
She is seen on the run.

But come rain or shine,
Come heat, hail or snow,
Those bills must be paid,
As all Father's know!

So, off they will go
To work once again
It's not just for fun,
And it never will end.

I also have heard,
That Mother's famed spot
Cannot be replaced
By one who is not.

Now, that is a puzzle,
Cause on Mother's Day
The Dad's often cook,
And take Mom's spot away.

But come Father's Day
There's never an offer
Of - "I'll go to work
To fill up the coffer"!

The Mother's find flowers,
Fine roses and such.
(Well, give those to dad's
And it wouldn't mean much.)

But a big candy bar,
Or a note of respect
Might do the same thing
For a dad, I expect.

If you think my goal
Is to put Mother's down
Then I understand
Why I've caused you to frown.

But that's not my goal,
Not is it my aim,
I think that the Father's
Deserve just the same --

The same praise as Mother's,
The honor, respect,
Their God-given spot
We so often reject.

Please give it some thought,
And see if it's true.
Let's raise up our Father's -
Give them some ado!

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A very happy Father's Day to dads everywhere but particularly to
 the Father of these ones......

 You have a very special and important spot to fill!!

A Thank You to the Men

I was sitting in McDonalds with Charles beside me. Part of my mind was busy with eating - rescuing the ketchup from the edge of the table, reaching a hand to steady the drink, wiping the drips from my own chin - the other part of my mind was busy watching people. We had been helping at the new house, so we slipped off for lunch with Chris, and the place was crowded. Mostly with men.

I'm not really sure why the many men caught my attention. Maybe because for months now the subject rolling around in the back of my brain has been God's plan for the roles of men and women. Or maybe it's because, for about five months now, I've been watching a man build a house.

Being a mom 24/7 often feels exhausting. I don't know how often I have flopped into bed at night with a sigh and remarked wryly, "I'll go to work tomorrow and you can stay here!" Chris is always more than willing to agree to the arrangement. The truth is, we both know full well it's a joke; neither role is really easier.

I've been reading the American Girl books to my girls and it's been interesting to get glimpses into different eras in our American history. The most recent books we read were set during the depression. In the back of the books they share all kinds of interesting facts and information about that time period. One of the facts from the depression era that stuck out to me was the loss of jobs and the extreme measures men went to to provide for their families. A lot of men left their families under the pretense of finding work elsewhere and never came back. Their logic was that hopefully their wife and children would be more likely to receive aid if there was no husband at home.

As I watched the many men that day at McDonalds, it was obvious that most of them were on lunch break. I had to wonder, where do they all work? Do they like their jobs? Are they struggling to pay the bills? What kind of life do they live? Do they look forward to going home in the evening?

Just from my observations of the men in my own life, I expect that most of those men waiting in line to place their orders and select their drink and straw shared one objective: providing for those in their care. Some were doing it with work callused hands and rugged boots. Some were doing it with suit and tie and hours spent on the phone. Some were doing it by taking orders from the boss man and punching in a time clock. Some were doing it by taking on the headaches of being in charge.

I've been watching a man build a house. I am amazed at the endless amount of work it takes; tedious, time consuming, hard work. It gets hot working out in the sun, did you know? Measuring and cutting and figuring and climbing up and down a ladder is no walk in the park either. And then, some days the hero in my story spends the second half of his day going off to a Tire Shop to work til 7 pm!

It is true that sometimes pure hard physical work looks almost more inviting than the emotions and stress of motherhood and I'm not really here to say one is harder or easier than the other. What I am here to say is that I'm feeling a deep, healthy dose of respect for all the men who get out there every day and work to provide for their wives and families.

To all of you hard working men: I am in awe of your determination and dedication. To you I am offering a heart felt Thank You. May your lives be blessed.
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What Have We Done to Our Men?

It was late, and I was indulging in my (slightly) bad habit of savoring some alone time after everyone else was asleep. I wasn't thinking about blog posts, for sure not planning to write one, when a minion quote suddenly jolted me to attention: "Husbands are the best people to share secrets with. They won't tell anyone, because they're not even listening."

It may not have gotten as much of my attention if I hadn't just spent an evening with my husband several nights ago. We were browsing around in a Kitchen Collection store when we got started reading the sayings on some refrigerator magnets. "The views expressed by the males in this house are not necessarily shared by the management." said one, and we smiled a little but then Chris pointed something out that made me think.

"We can say that about a man, and it's funny. But try taking that and switching it around to be about a woman and sticking it on a magnet and that's not going to go over well at all!" I had to admit he was right.

Ever since reading the book Love and Respect and realizing how society has stripped men of the respect that they long for with its feminist movement and cries for equality, I've been more sensitive to this kind of thing. Still, it's easy to think it's all "out there" and kind of shrug it off as not really being that bad.

After reading the minion quote and shaking my head and thinking, "Really? Really. You're going to comment on that and 'like' it and act like it's hilarious? We seriously have a problem", I decided to do a little searching.

I pulled up trusty old google and typed in "quotes about men". What did I find? Twenty out of twenty of the quotes about men made them out to be the dummies. So, I googled "quotes about women". Out of twenty quotes about women, two were demeaning and two others were slightly so. I wasn't quite sure that had been a fair search, so I googled "funny quotes about women". Out of 100 quotes maybe 10 - 15% put women down but here's the really startling thing: a good 50% of those "funny quotes about women" made MEN look like the idiots.

People! What is wrong with this picture? What have we done to our men? What are we doing?

I went to bed after that but my mind was in high gear. I felt sick inside and I wondered how we could have strayed so far from God's plan for the man and woman as He created them?

The truth is, we Christians aren't so very different from the rest of the world in this area. We might be a few steps behind our society but we've accepted a lot more of the feminist attitude than we want to admit. We're pretty careful not to step on the women's toes but we pretty regularly portray the attitude that on the opposite side it's no big deal, the men can handle it!

What's my point? Just this, I guess: As Christians let's open our eyes and beware! Let's be honest and admit that we have this problem more than we think we do. Let's not join the crowd chortling at silly, demeaning quotes. Let's show the world that we respect our men!