Thursday, June 26, 2014

Dear Mom,

Your marigolds are growing, mom. I believe every little seed came up! The girls were so excited to see the tiny green shoots coming up through the ground. They argued over who got the privilege of watering the little plants, and exclaimed every time they noticed how much they are growing!

We hoed up the ground behind them to make a little "garden". It was late, but I did it for you; I knew you would be proud. Our three tomato plants are growing strong (although the rain nearly washed one away and I had to move it. We'll see if it survives!) We planted two hills of squash - for me, because you taught me to love them (it looks like a deer tromped on one last night, but that's ok too) - and four of cucumbers. We've had so much fun watching them grow! I would love to put Jennifer on the phone with you, and let her tell you all about it :)

Along the back we planted a row of zinnias. A "garden" wouldn't be complete without them! I can just see the zinnias in your garden, Mom. Always zinnias. Many, many a bouquet was picked and enjoyed from that row of cheery colorfulness! They didn't come up the best, but there's enough there to give us some cheery color one of these days...if nothing eats them off...

From as far back as I can remember, you always enjoyed your garden. Oh, you would be so ready to have it all cleaned off in the fall so you could forget about it, and come spring we knew that until the seeds were safely planted there would be no peace :) but you loved your garden!

I miss you, Mom. Some days I almost forget, and others that's all I can think about. It's on those days that all I can think of is the fact that I wasn't done! I wasn't done learning from you, wasn't done telling you things, wasn't done having you interact with my children, wasn't done being remembered in your prayers, wasn't done telling you what's happening at our house, wasn't done telling you about my terrible days, wasn't done having your emails show up in my inbox, wasn't done hearing your stories of bygone days...... I just wasn't done yet!

I want to ask how you made this? And will it work if I? And what would you do if? And what was that spray you used on tomatoes? I want to tell you how Charles can say the sounds for the animals in the book you gave for his birthday...and don't remind me that's the only birthday gift he'll ever get from you.... I want to tell you that Jasmine asked You into her heart at camp. I want to tell you what Jennifer and Lillian said when they were playing and how Isaac is working on his Bible memory for next year's quizzing. I think I miss your emails the most! My inbox remains empty most days.
I know of several other mothers who are still here in body, but the real "them" is gone and I'm so glad you were fully here until it was time to go! I have no regrets, and that, too, I am glad for. I'm glad you are experiencing bliss, I am. I am glad, as Jennifer said today, that "at least we still have pictures of Grandma!" I'm glad ......except...... I just wasn't done yet. But then, who ever is?

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