There are numerous reasons for the drippy, grey mood; one of them might be the weather itself. Another, undoubtedly, is the flurry of busyness and the coming and going of the past several weeks. A smaller one, is that today my oldest son turns 15 and that knowledge suddenly pierced through my brain fog last night and with it, the realization that we had planned no gift, no nothing for today. The compilation of all these things could possibly be to blame for my irrational annoyance with my husband this morning over a container holding only three cookies.
I have four school lunches to pack every morning, see. Any of you fellow lunch packers understands the ongoing difficulty of keeping lunch packing material available. I do my best to keep homemade cookies or bars in the freezer so there is something quick and easy to grab for desserts in lunches. Once the baked goods are in the freezer, they are not available for non-lunch-box consumption unless granted specific permission.
Unless you're the husband, and you like to consume frozen chocolate chip cookies by the stack.
There were three left in the container I so confidently pulled out of the freezer this morning, three. Three is not enough for four lunches, no matter how you try to stretch it. Those three cookies put me over the edge. So annoying. Just utterly thoughtless. I'd told him before that I didn't care if he ate them but I needed enough for lunches! And he didn't even say he was sorry.
I knew it was silly and I finished the lunches and he went out the door with a kiss but it was tinged with annoyance that colored my outlook on the day. Then I read the blog post. "Pray for my husband. Headaches. MRI shows a growth. Quite possibly cancer."
Suddenly I thought I would choke on my breakfast. The granola that had been so delicious was too sweet and the coffee nearly made me gag. All I could think of was my uncalled for annoyance over three cookies in a container.
Why do I take life so for granted? The third anniversary of my mom's sudden death was only days ago; I have first hand knowledge of how fleeting life is. I'm the one who thinks about death and knows that it is not if, but when I will need to say goodbye. Still, I take life so for granted.
I suppose it is just human nature to get caught up in the dailyness of the now. Still, there are people who have learned to better cherish each moment and they live their lives a bit differently than your status quo; I want to be one of those. Sometimes it takes startling news to give us a reality check. None of us are immune; one day the startling news might be a phone call of my own.
I hope I remember that, the next time I pull out a container with only three cookies.
Two years ago I shared Gina and Ed's "How We Met" story. Gina and I have never met, except through email and blogposts, but I feel like she is a friend. They are currently facing the reality of a growth on Ed's brain and, I'm sure, would appreciate your prayers.