To Whine or Not to Whine?

My first inclination would be to write a whiney post about hormones and emotions out of control and that time of the month... It would be a doozy, let me tell you, and all from a very recent, personal perspective! But, on second thot, what's the point? It might do me (and you) a whole lot more good to talk about the sun streaming in the windows and 3 year olds who love "lemontines" and school children all excited about tonight's school open house and 2 year olds who are p.o.t.t.y. t.r.a.i.n.e.d. and husbands who have big birthday plans up their sleeves.... See, feeling better already! Why, WHY is it so easy to focus on the blah feelings? There are so many happy things, what do I get out of curling up with the gloomy ones? Oh yeah, those hormones. Nothing I can do about those. Sigh... Maybe I should deck myself out like Jennifer with a slip hanging out from under her nightie and a slip over the top of her nightie, that would have to be mood boosting! If only I could post pictures... :)

Moments for Grabbing Jars

One of the things I marvel over in the blogs that I read is moms who make it a point to be present. Moms who notice the way their baby curls his toes, the 3 year old's quirky hairdo, their son's eyes when he's thinking deeply... I've learned a lot from them. Last night was one of those evenings when I felt it. Daddy and son playing a game, Jasmine on the couch w/ a book, Jennifer and Lillian busy with a row of chairs and babies and me on the recliner just wanting to soak it up. Wishing to somehow take this moment and cold pack it in gallon jars so it can last forever! Life is always moving. Sometimes it feels painfully slow, other times exhileratingly fast, but never static. If I don't learn to be present and soak and savor I'll miss so much!! In the midst of settling 2 year old hitting induced fusses, battling 3 year old wills, dealing with 9 year old attitudes and 7 years going on 16 it's so easy to forget. Sometimes though, sometimes you feel it, and you grab the jars and fill them to the brim!

Company, Serving and "Naturals"

I've always envied women who love to serve. You know, the ones who seem to derive great joy and fulfillment out of having people for supper, the night, coffee, you name it. The one's who actually enjoy the chance to take the men juice break and the school children hot lunch. My brother is in the area and came last night for supper. Even this threw me into a quandry of "what shall I make?" and when I thought I'd made up my mind, then I'd change it again. I even got mildly stressed over it all and definitely missed the joy part! Until he was actually here and we were having a good evening, that is. That's the thing. I almost always end up enjoying the company once the visit is actually in progress, so what's the big deal? I don't know. I just know that it takes a huge effort for me to invite company or offer to help with food projects. I guess instead of envying the "naturals" I should be grateful there are some around. If everyone were like me, invitations for Sunday lunch would be few and far between!

10 things you might not know about me:

1) I drink tea in the morning. No coffee! 2) In order to accomplish things I must make lists. 3) My husband does 95% of our grocery shopping...and I like it! 4) I'd rather sew a whole new dress then pick apart and redo mistakes. 5) If I get a letter or anything good in the mail I read it right away! 6) I'd usually rather sit and quilt with ladies for a day then go shopping with them. 7) I'd much rather write a note/letter then pick up the phone and call! 8) I can only stand a mess and clutter for so long then it's gotta go! 9) I don't enjoy driving and can go somewhere w/ someone 6 times and still not be able to get there by myself. 10) I hate to be cold and would choose a hot summer day over a cold winter one any day! Have a happy Thursday :)

Up against and stuck!

Do you ever come up against something, sit down and figure out what it is and then have no idea what you're gonna do with it? I was grouchy this week end and sat down to find out I'm homesick. Figured out that Mrs Loner Bethany gets lonely and craves friendships too. See, I AM a loner. Most of the time I can make it just fine by myself. Chris has been my best friend since I'm married and I haven't really had anyone else. But, I always had family for those times when I did need someone else. Here? Well, here there are no sisters and mom. Here if I need anyone besides me and my hubby I'm gonna have to do something more then talk to a few people after church. So, I've realized the cause for the grouchiness but I really dont wanna do anything with it! It's too hard so I'll just make it on my own, thank you. Truth is though, I'm lonely. There's some wonderful ladies here and I should just pick up the phone, make a visit, extend an invitation but the thot just stays that: a thot. Guess I'll just be grouchy! :)

Now I'm "Nobody like mom"!

Today is one of those days when I have a fleeting wish to not be a mom. I'm dying to get out of the house! I'd love to traipse off to town, visit my husband at work, sit at the library for hours (w/o keeping an eye on kids), meander through stores looking for things for ME.... Reality is, I've got a sick 3 yr old on the recliner and I'm not going anywhere. And, the truth is, I'm glad I'm her mom and there's no one else in the world who can take care of her like me! I remember how it felt to be sick as a kid and there was just no one quite like mom. No one else had the same soothing words and cool hands. No one else thought of exactly what you'd need to make you more comfy. It's a special role to fill and it's kinda thrilling to realize - I'm that person now! So, I'll be happy at home today, soothing, straightening covers, making toast, giving tylenol, brushing back hair.... Town will still be there tomorrow, or next week..... I hope!

What in all this world is grace? (Ann Voskamp ahead)

After an email this morning that shook my world, I found myself re-reading this: "What in the world, in a world of certain loss, is grace? If I am numbering gift moments to 1,000-what moments in my life count as blessings? If I name this moment as gift, grace, what IS the next moment? Curse? How do you know how to sift through a day, a life, and rightly read the graces, rightly ascertain the curses? What is good? What counts as grace? What is the heart of God? Do I believe in a God who rouses himself just now and then to spill a bit of benevolence on hemorrhaging humanity? A God who breaks through only now and then, surprises us w/ spared hand, a reprieve from sickness, a good job... and then finds Himself again too impotent to deal w/ all I see as suffering and evil? A God of sporadic, random, splattering goodness- that now and then splatters across a gratitude journal? Somebody tell me: WHAT ARE THE OTHER MOMENTS?..To read His message in moments, I'll need to..wear the lens of the Word.." All IS grace!