31 Days: What Does God Say To Women?

Following is a list of verses I found in my search to discover what God says to women (in no particular order):

* Gen 2:18; I Cor 11:8-9 You are a helper suitable for a man; you were made for man

* Prov 31 You are worth more than jewels

* Col 3:18 You are to be subject to your husband

* Prov 11:16 If you are gracious, you will attain honor

* Prov 14:1 If you are wise, you will build your house

* Gen 2:24 You are to become one with your husband

* Prov 19:13; Prov 21:9, 19 If you are contentious it is like constant dripping; a contentious person is not fun to live with

* I Tim 3:11 You must be dignified, not malicious gossipers

* I Pet 3:12 You must be submissive/ respectful

* I Tim 2:9-10 If you want to be godly, what you do is more important than outward adornment

* Prov 31:30 Fearing the Lord brings praise, charm or beauty won’t

* I Tim 2:11-15 You need to learn to keep your mouth shut and receive instruction

* Prov 12:4 Shaming your husband is horrible

* Titus 2:3-5 You are to love your husband and children; be pure, be kind; your first priority is keeping your home

* Prov 31:26-31 You are to care for your household and not be idle or lazy

* Prov 11:22 Discretion is much more important than beauty

* Matt 19:26 With people this is impossible but with God all things are possible :)

Here is also a very interesting commentary I found on Titus 2:3-5. 3. The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4. That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

“KEEPERS AT HOME: minding their own family affairs, not gadding abroad; and inspecting into, and busying themselves about other people’s matters. This is said in opposition to what women are prone unto. It is reckoned among the properties of women, by the Jews, that they are (twynauwy), “gadders abroad” F24: they have some rules about women’s keeping at home; they say F25, a woman may go to her father’s house to visit him, and to the house of mourning, and to the house of feasting, to return a kindness to her friends, or to her relations--but it is a reproach to a woman to go out daily; now she is without, now she is in the streets; and a husband ought to restrain his wife from it, and not suffer her to go abroad but about once a month, or twice a month, upon necessity; for there is nothing more beautiful for a woman, than to abide in the corner of her house; for so it is written, (Psalms 45:13) “The king’s daughter is all glorious within.” And this they say F26 is what is meant by the woman’s being an helpmeet for man, that while he is abroad about his business, she is (tybb tbvwy), “sitting at home”, and keeping his house; and this they observe is the glory and honour of woman. The passage in (Isaiah 44:13) concerning an image being made “after the figure of a man, according to the beauty of a man, that it may remain in the house” is by the Targum thus paraphrased: according to the likeness of a man, according to the praise of a woman, to abide in the house.” Upon which Kimchi has this note: “it is the glory of a woman to continue at home, and not go abroad.” The tortoise, which carries its house upon its back, and very rarely shows its head, or looks out of it, was, with the ancients, an emblem of a good housewife.” (Italics, mine.)

31 Days: Do I Get to Choose?

So here I am, a woman in today‘s world. I see the woman of yesterday, the woman of today, and all the women in between. And I wonder - as a Christian, do I get to choose?

Is there anything morally wrong with wanting to be a woman who builds houses? Or drives a semi? Or runs a business? Not really. There is no commandment from God against those things. Does that give me the freedom, then, to choose what kind of a woman I am?

After all, God did give us the freedom of choice. He didn’t create us as puppets to only do the things He makes us do. Is the fact that I am uncomfortable with the idea of The Woman of Today just the result of generations of training in a conservative Mennonite setting? Is it just because all I have ever known in my world is women who do ‘women jobs’?

Maybe I need to ask myself a couple more questions. First, what lies at the end of this ‘I get to choose’ line of thought? If, as a woman, I may choose to be whoever and whatever, however I want to, where does that track lead? Is it a much bigger step to say I can be whatever gender I want to be; marry whatever gender I want to marry? Second, if I am a Christian, what is my goal in life? To be whoever I want to be or to please the One to whom I belong?

This brings me then to the question: Who did God create me to be? When God created woman, what was His plan for her? How do I please the One to whom I belong?

I like to think it would be so nice if God would just spell out exactly what He created me to be. Don’t you wish you could have been there at creation? Wouldn’t it have been amazing to see the first woman He created? Sure seems like she should have come with a detailed instruction manual; something we could run to to look up all the exact details on how He intended this creature to function! We do have the Bible with little snippets throughout to give us some pointers and guidance, so that’s where I went searching…..

31 Days: Have the Men Changed Too?

We’ve considered the difference between the Woman of Today, and the Woman of Yesterday. What about the men? Is the Man of Yesterday different than the Man of Today?

   

Correct me if I’m wrong but to me it doesn’t seem like men have changed much. Yes, there are probably more “stay at home” men than ever before; more gays, more men switching genders. But as a whole, men are still doing the same thing they have done for centuries: working to make a living. According to statistics, the percentage of unemployed men in the USA is up right now but that seems to be due to the recent recession, rather than men deciding they want to be something different. Why?

Why have men, as a whole, not taken up the women’s ‘I can be whatever I want to be, however I want to’ mantra? Why don’t we see hosts of men choosing babysitting over truck driving or working as a seamstress over construction? Why is it that a far larger majority of people would see those choices for a man as ‘sick’ but on the flip side, for a woman, they see them as liberating?

There seems to be something about the inborn nature of male and female that runs deeper than anything we as people can ever change with all the women’s liberation movements in the world. Women are all about being strong and independent...until the furniture needs to be moved, right? And no matter how much women’s rights are preached, if the ship is sinking, who goes first? Somehow all the equality speeches vanish and it’s still “Women and children first!” is it not?

There are other things that feminism has been unable to change and men (for the most part) seem to accept as normal. The old "never hit a woman even if she hits you first" rule hasn't changed. There are still more men paying for first dates, alimony and  child support than woman...you probably think of other examples.

There are exceptions to these, of course, but by and large they are the accepted norm. Why? Why aren’t the men chafing at the unfairness and trying to change their world?

What is it that is driving us women to be the unhappy and unfulfilled ones? And yes, I am saying ‘us women’. I hear a lot of unhappiness and unfulfillment and discontent among women in Christian circles and in myself!

31 Days: What Was The Woman of Yesterday?

If we're looking at snapshots, it seems only natural to look at The Woman of Yesterday too, while we're at it. It doesn’t take much research to discover that the woman of yesterday was quite different than the woman of today. Stories of pioneer women like Ma Ingalls and, for a lot of us, even stories of our own mothers or grandmothers paint a stark contrast to what is the accepted norm in today’s world.

Sometime during the past year, my 7 year old got started on the American Girls Collection books. I found the stories of the changing culture in the history of America rather fascinating. I thought the following excerpt painted the woman of yesterday very well:

“(9 year old) Felicity stirred the apples with a long wooden spoon. Round and round, again and again, she stirred the apple mush till her arms ached. It was tiresome work, and dull. Her hair stuck to her sweaty neck. Her hands were sore, and her back was stiff. As soon as one batch of apples was cooked soft, Rose took it away and put another pot on the fire. Felicity tried to hide her impatience. But after a while, she could not help asking, "Isn't that enough? Haven't we made hundreds of pounds of apple butter by now?"

"Goodness, no," said her mother. "A whole pound of apples makes only one pint of apple butter." Pints were very small.

Felicity sighed. "It seems to be a great deal of work for a little bit of butter. I don't think it's worthwhile," she said. "And once the apple butter's eaten, there's nothing to show for all the hard work. You are left with nothing at all."

Mrs. Merriman laughed. "I remember thinking just the same thing when I was your age," she said. "And 'tis true, there's nothing left that anyone can see. But I know that I've provided for my family, and that pleases me." She looked kindly at Felicity. "Caring for a family is a responsibility and a pleasure. It will be your most important task, and one that you must learn to do well. I want you to be a notable housewife when you are grown."

"Notable?" asked Felicity.

"Yes," said Mrs. Merriman. "A notable housewife runs her household smoothly, so that everyone in it is happy and healthy. Her life is private and quiet. She is content doing things for her family."

"Things nobody ever sees," said Felicity.

"Aye," agreed her mother. "But many lovely things are private and hidden." She picked up one of the apples. "Look," she said. She sliced the apple in half across its fat middle, instead of top to bottom. She held the halves up to Felicity. "Have you ever seen the flower that is hidden inside every apple?" she asked. "It's there for those who know how to find it. See?"

Felicity grinned at her mother. There was indeed a flower inside the apple.”

 -- Excerpt from The American Girls Collection book ‘Felicity Learns A Lesson’

31 Days: What Is A Woman Today?

If I were to take a snapshot of The Woman of Today, and hold it in front of us so we could see what is acceptable or expected of a woman in today's world, I wonder what it would look like? I was curious what other people would say, so I asked this question on face book one day: In today‘s world, what is a woman? Some of the responses I got were:

“Some females are a woman and others a lady.” :)

“The current gender identity crisis. If biology doesn’t make you a woman, what does?”

“The strange way ‘feminism’ seems to throw femininity out the window in preference for masculine traits.”

“My doctor (a woman) asked if I was planning to work away from home…I said I was planning to stay home with my child. She looked at me and said, ‘Are you okay with that??’” 

“There is pressure now days to feel like you’re ‘nothing’ or ‘just a mom’ if you’re not working a 9-5 job.” 

“It’s discouraging how often I get the feeling, even from Christian women, that taking care of ‘just’ your children is not enough.”

I have concluded that basically, in today’s world, we have decided that women can be whoever they want to be. They don’t have to be anything specific; they can choose whatever they like! You want to be a mother? Okay, that’s fine. You want to be a business woman? No problem. You want to build houses? Go for it! You want to drive a semi? Why not? You want to be on television and talk about sports? Cool! You want to be any of these and be a mother at the same time? Great idea! You don’t want to be a mother, ever? You can do whatever you want, baby. Who’s stopping you?

This is the world we live in today. This is what it means to be a woman. We can be anything we decide to be - in whatever way, shape or form we choose. There are no limitations, no boundaries, no questions asked. If questions are asked, you can expect an uproarious protest against the ones posing them!

This, is The Woman of Today.

31 Days: Facts or Feelings?

In Dr. Emmerson Eggerich’s book ‘Love and Respect’, he uses an example to illustrate how a man and a woman can say the same thing but mean something completely different. The example is this: A woman is getting ready to go away. She opens her closet and studies the contents then says, “I have nothing to wear!” (What she means is, she has nothing new.) A man is getting ready to go away. He opens his closet door and studies the contents then says, “I have nothing to wear!” (What he means is, he has nothing clean.) Same words; completely different meanings.

To me, this example also illustrates so vividly the difference in the way men and women view life. A man’s whole life…brain, thought process; whatever you want to call it…is centered around facts. Fact #1. He is going away. Fact #2. He needs clean clothes. Fact #3. Clean clothes are found in the closet. Fact #4. There are no clean clothes in the closet. Conclusion: “I have nothing to wear!”

A woman’s whole life…brain, thought process; whatever you want to call it…is centered around feelings. In the first place, she probably has some feelings about going away. Maybe she’s not in the mood to go away for the evening but she has to get ready so she checks out her closet; she needs to find something nice to wear to make her feel better! Or, maybe she is excited about going away. At any rate, she checks out her closet - “Not that dress, it makes me feel fat. Not that one either, I wear it every time I go away. That dress always makes me feel like an old duffer. I never liked the color of that one, I don’t know why I made it…...” Conclusion: “I have nothing to wear!”

We laugh at that picture, and it is rather funny and maybe a little stretched but there’s a lot of truth to it, too. As a rule, men live their whole life out of a 'facts' view point - fact 1, fact 2, fact 3: Conclusion. And women, as a rule, live their whole life out of a 'feelings' view point - How will that make me feel? How will that make him feel? How will that make them feel? Conclusion: I don’t even know how I feel!

Okay, okay, I’ll stop :) But seriously, take notice. It really is the way men and women come at life and realizing it will make a difference in this discussion!

31 Days: Who Did God Create?

I’ve had a hard time deciding where to start this series. I think I’ll start with a very basic concept: We all know that God not only created woman, He also created man. We also know quite well that He created man and woman very distinctly different from each other. For one thing, we are physically different. I found this article by Dr. James Dobson very interesting. In brief, these are the 12 physical differences he mentions:

1. In the United States, women normally outlive men by three or four years.

2. Men have a higher incidence of death from almost every disease except three.

3. Men have a higher rate of basal metabolism than women.

4. The sexes differ in skeletal structure.

5. Women have a larger stomach, kidneys, liver, and appendix, and smaller lungs than men.

6. Women have three very important physiological functions totally absent in men -- menstruation, pregnancy and lactation. Female hormone patterns are more complex and varied.

7. Women’s blood contain more water (20 percent fewer red cells). Since red cells supply oxygen to the body, she tires more easily and is more prone to faint.

8. Men are 50 percent stronger than women in brute strength.

9. Women’s hearts beat more rapidly than those of men.

10. Female lung capacity is about 30 percent less than in males.

11. Women can withstand high temperatures better than men.

12. Men and women differ in every cell of their bodies because they carry a differing chromosomal pattern.

With such explicit distinction between male and female in just the physical sense, it seems safe to assume that those differences carry over into pretty much every other area of life. It would be interesting to know how many books have been written about the differences between men and women! It seems to be a subject we as humans will never quite understand.

There are so many things we could talk about when it comes to the differences in men and women and I don’t plan to go into that too much, it’s a little dangerous! But there is one major difference that, to me, seems very important in untangling this whole question of “What did God have in mind for women, and what are we missing?”