Saturday, January 18, 2014

Day 11: The Disrespectful Excuse

Let's suppose it's after church...As was often the case, Chris was ready to go before I would have been. He informed me, "Let's go," and then went to round up children. I proceeded to finish the conversation I was in the middle of-after all, I wouldn't want to be rude! By the time I reached the vehicle, I knew way too much time had elapsed and the man was not happy with me. You see, he had explained that when I didn't come right away it felt disrespectful, like I cared more about whoever/whatever held me up than I did about him. This frustrated me! It wasn't like I had set out to be disrespectful-I was only finishing up my conversation. Besides, (as if this settled the matter), "I didn't mean it that way at all!" I may as well have said, "How stupid that that felt disrespectful! I didn't even mean it that way." Thus I disrespected even his feelings of disrespect! In so many situations all I could focus on was "The reason I did what I did!" instead of my first thought being, "How did that make him feel?"


Anonymous said...

This post bothers me.....I think your husband is selfish for not considering your feelings and caring enough to let you socialize after church. I got the feeling from this post that he thinks your relationship is all about him and what HE wants, not about putting you ahead of his desires. I am glad to be in a wonderful relationship with a man who cares about what I need and want and puts me first. That makes me respect him, and in turn he shows me love. It's a cycle that works!!!

Bethany said...

Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry I left you with that impression in this post, it couldn't be further from the truth! :) I often feel like my husband is, by far, the more unselfish one of the two of us!! In all honesty, I feel I was the selfish one in this instance - disregarding his desire to get home so he could get adequate rest before another work day. My point here was meant to be my attitude about his wishes rather than the issue of leaving soon after church. If I would have asked, "may I finish my conversation", I'm quite sure he wouldn't have had a problem with it. I'm sorry I didn't convey my point better. And, I agree, it's a cycle that works! Blessings, Bethany