Thursday, July 3, 2014

Thinking Out Loud

I've been sitting here reading my own blog. Not sure if that's weird or not, but it happens occasionally. I was re-reading the "how we met" stories that I shared last month, and realizing that I never really talked much about them! Maybe because I've been following Shari's thoughts on singlehood and dating  thoughts began tumbling through my mind as I re-read them.
I love "how we met" stories and "proposal" stories; I think most of us do! I never thought of it that, like Timo said, God is love and He loves love stories! I like that. As in many areas of God's creation, I'm amazed at the creativity that comes through in these stories. How simple would it have been for God to set up one set way that a man and a woman meet and marry? I mean, if it works why not use it for everyone??
But, no. Here the girl falls madly in love and the boy takes no notice. Here the boy has thought, and prayed, and is sure, but the girl has many, many questions. Here their first impression was Never! And God worked to change both hearts. Everyone's story is just a little bit different it seems! That speaks to me of a God who loves individually. A God who delights in writing special, detailed stories in the lives of His characters!
But, back to the discussion that's been going on about singlehood and dating over at I'm not a "discusser" (is that a word?) I live with a man who likes to pick things apart piece by piece and then go through the pieces backward yet too. Me? Not so much. This topic of singlehood is a bit touchy with me anyway, see, cause in my family we're split right down the middle - 3 and 3 - so I tend to stick up for the single side pretty hard!
Buuuuttt.....bear with me, I have a point (I think)...... I do have to admit that I'm agreeing more and more with the idea that we've swung the pendulum from "casual dating" way over to a place where maybe we really shouldn't be! The point was made that we've swung so far the other way, that now a simple request from a man to begin a relationship is taken as seriously as a proposal for marriage and many an upstanding gentleman is turned down because he didn't "match the list" and there's "no way we could fit together"!
Which brings me to my Idea: I think dating relationships should start off with 6-8 months of good old fashioned, envelope-with-a-stamp snail mail. These should include lots of questions and answers, family descriptions, likes and dislikes, and everyday happenings. If, after the letter writing period, one party still feels mis-givings and has found no common ground or maybe some character flaw that clinches the matter totally, than maybe it isn't meant to be.
"Yeah, you're a writer!" I knew that was coming. Maybe you're right. Maybe. But I know some people who think they can't write who can put a lot of good stuff on paper when needed! You can say things in letters that you would never get said in a first-awkward-date/phone-call. You can learn to know someone without the pressure of face-to-face/voice-to-voice. You can re-read and ponder (not to mention write and re-write :) ) without the need to "perform" or "pretend" in front of this person you aren't sure about.
I don't know. Maybe I'm getting carried away. I just wonder if it wouldn't take care of some of the "no's" that should maybe have been "I'll give you a chance's". It does seem that when any 16 year old girl who would dare to say "my biggest dream is to marry and be a mother" would almost certainly be looked at as "weird", than maybe we Christians have lost our way just a bit somewhere.
But now I am sounding like a discusser, and I am not one, so I am done, done. Done!

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