Dear Mom

Two years ago the phone call came that changed our lives forever. Last year we made it past the one year mark and now, here we are, two years removed from that early morning phone call.

My family has never been the kind to make a big deal out of these sorts of anniversaries. Everyone is different, and I won't attempt to say that one way is better than another. For myself, I prefer not making a big deal but I am finding that it is also beneficial to take the time to look back and feel some feelings.

We have an amazing God who created us with the ability to go on living in the face of loss and grief. Think about it, the sun keeps coming up every morning, the flowers bloom, the children say funny things, new babies are born, people get married, we celebrate anniversaries... Life goes on, and even though sometimes we wish it would stop, God was wise to make it work that way.

This morning I am taking a moment to look back and remember... I feel again the raw grief and numbness of two years ago. The pain and the stumbling through the motions of things. The tears and the loss and the ache.

And then, I am remembering last year, and the 'new pink skin' and the growth and the realization that amongst the memories and the loss and the sadness, there is healing and new life.

Today, I pause to look around me and remember. The tears that come with the remembering are healing but equally so is the evidence of all that the Lord has done in the last two years.

Life has gone on. We are still here and we have grown. The sun is still rising every morning, the flowers are blooming again, people are getting married...two special people on July 30...and the children are still saying funny things.

God is good.

The memories will always be there, and I am blessed to have them. Today I pause to remember, to heal, to live.