Dear Mom

I was taking a break from my sewing this morning and made an innocent little stop by facebook. Two minutes later I was reaching for a Kleenex and swallowing around a lump in my throat, wanna know why Mom?

It started with a simple little notification: "Genice Motes Cardenas has a birthday today." It ended up with me in tears, thinking about you.

The fact is, I cannot think about Genice without thinking about you, Mom; there's no way.

Mom on the left, Genice on the right, 

Wilma Hochstetler in the back

From as far back as I can remember, you always had the best friendships with your neighbors, Mom. As a little girl, I remember Sunday afternoon visits to Lillie Tuttle. I remember sitting in her tiny living room, playing quietly with a mesh bag full of plastic Easter eggs. I remember once climbing carefully up the steep steps to the teensy upstairs under the sloping roof in her little house and looking at old quilts she had made. I remember clearly, seeing you wipe tears the day that Lillie passed away and, with the innocence of a little girl asking, "Why are you crying, Mom?" Your simple answer was, "Because we will miss her."

I suppose because I was the youngest, I got in on visits with your neighbor friends more than my other siblings. I remember visits to Ina Cannon, Marilyn Myette, Ava Baker and a string of Motes relations. There was always someone that you wanted to visit and you almost never failed to take something along to either give them, or show them. 

I loved going with you to visit Ava, the dear sweet lady with the name that she declared "You can't even spell backwards!" She had the best sense of humor and 'lived in the house that Jack built', as she always liked to tell people. Her little house was a museum of her paintings, with full wall murals that she added to when the notion struck and many, many framed pieces that each had an intriguing story. Even after I was married, you would pick me up and take me along to show off your grandchildren. I remember clearly, the day I went with you to Ava's funeral and held your hand as you said good bye. 

Last summer we stopped by Ava's 

daughter's house and I got to show my children some of Ava's paintings 

There were other special neighbor friends, but I think Genice was almost more like a sister to you than anything, Mom. You told her things that you couldn't talk about with just anyone and after a visit with her, you almost always had a story to tell us at the supper table to make us laugh. You would try to imitate the drawling, southern accent and the dry sense of humor and we could all just hear Genice saying it. To me, one of the most special parts of your funeral will always be the tribute that Genice wrote for her daughter to read. You were a friend to many, Mom. And you deeply shaped my view of people outside of our Mennonite world. 

That one little innocent stop by facebook brought back all these memories, Mom. And suddenly I missed you desperately and decided to talk about it. Some memories are bittersweet but I am still so very thankful that I have them. And, all in all, I reckon I'm glad that Genice had a birthday today and facebook reminded me of the fact.

Love, Bethany

Because Of Lincoln

Nearly eighty thousand people have followed the story of little Lincoln Arrow Schrock. Two years ago, Lincoln was diagnosed with stage four Neuroblastoma at the age of three. This past Thursday, September 19, he slipped into the arms of his Jesus.

I too have followed their journey from afar. I've quietly traced the rollercoaster life they have lived. I have wept with them when they wept and rejoiced when they rejoiced. I didn't know them personally, but across the many miles from Wisconsin to Ohio, their story touched mine.

As parents, it's impossible to hear stories like Lincoln's without being impacted in some way. You can't hear about a three year old being diagnosed with cancer without looking around at your own four year old and imagining "what if". It's only natural to wonder, What would we do? How would we respond? How would something like this impact our lives? It's impossible to imagine the agony of decisions, the physical weariness, the brutal ups and downs, the intense pain of your heart.

I don't pretend to know exactly how we would handle a diagnosis like little Lincoln's. I doubt that we would do everything like Matt and Kaitlyn but I'm not here to talk about any of that. What I'm here to talk about is the most important part of any story: God's Glory.

I am in awe of the impact of Lincoln's story.

You couldn't be on social media this past week without seeing his name pop up somewhere. More than one blog has mentioned his story; many individuals have talked about his influence; a group of over two hundred moms has formed to keep each other accountable to treasure their children because of Lincoln... and more. And everywhere his name is mentioned, you hear people who have seen Jesus.  This is the part of following along with Lincoln's story that gives me goosebumps.

A three year old diagnosed with cancer and battling a monster for two long, grueling years is heartbreaking. Everything within us cries out at the unfairness; the awfulness; the anguish and sadness. I don't know a parent who wouldn't be willing to trade places, rather than watch their child go through so much pain. Nothing about such a story is pretty. It is hard, dark; something we would go to great lengths to avoid. No, nothing about it is pretty. Nothing except the beautiful redemption of Jesus.

Lincoln loved his Jesus.

Lincoln's family loved his Jesus.

The light of Jesus shone forth in every tiny detail of Lincoln's story. Not one of those eighty thousand people following his story could help but see it. That one detail takes a story with so much pain and heartache  and turns it into a beautiful one. Does that take away the pain? No. Does that make us glad for the heartache? No. But oh, the glory Jesus has received from the story of little Lincoln Arrow! I am in awe of what God can do when we hand Him our stories, ashes and all.

"Of one thing I am perfectly sure: God's story never ends with ashes."

 ~Elizabeth Elliot, These Strange Ashes

Book Recommendations

Happy Friday! I'm back with the promised post telling you about books that I recommend. Instead of four, I'm going to tell you about eight; how's that for a bonus?

Some of these books I've listened to, and some of them I have read. I now own one of them because it was that good; the rest have been returned to the library, either physically or online. Which brings me to this -- did you know you can get audio books from an 'online library'? My local library uses a free app called the Libby App; other libraries use different ones.

We have the App on all of our phones now and have listened to lots of books, at home and on trips. You can't always find what you're looking for and often you have to place a hold on a title and wait awhile but we sure have enjoyed it! 

So, without further ado....

It's been quite awhile since I read this book. I know I got it because of seeing it recommended somewhere but I can't remember where? I wasn't planning on sharing this one but this post reminded me of it. This is not my typical read. I don't like books that you have to wade through but this one was so intriguing and so good that it was worth some wading. 

This was a fun read. If you're into behind the scenes history type of stuff, you'll enjoy this book for sure. 

If you like marriage books, these are both good ones. It was summer time when I got these in on Libby, which isn't a good time to listen to books. I didn't quite get them both listened to before I needed to send them back so I have "For Women Only" on hold again.

I got this book on audio from the library a couple of years ago and it is incredible. Each of the main characters has a different reader and I honestly felt like I knew each of them personally after listening to this book. This probably isn't one you want to listen to with your children, at least not young ones. There's some language and explicit scenes that wouldn't be appropriate. I listened to it again on Libby in the past year.

These next two books are by the same author. I'm not sure which I would recommend that you read first? If you're a parent, and you only read one, I would highly recommend "Raising Grateful Kids In An Entitled World". I cannot say enough good things about this book. This is the one I decided I needed to have on my bookshelf so I could re-read it and mark it up and lend it out. I love "Rhinestone Jesus" too. It stirred me deep inside and made me wonder what would happen if we all pursued our 'God sized dreams'?

And then there is this one. Have you gotten on the ennagram bandwagon? If you're interested in the ennagram, this is the book you want to read -- in my opinion, of course. I haven't listened to all of it yet, mostly just to the numbers that describe me and my family members. We listened to some of it together as a family and it was very entertaining. When it began to vividly describe my eleven year old, she got a peculiar look on her face and protested,  "Just shut it off!!" Spoiler alert: You will find it amazing when it begins to describe your insides better than you could yourself but you prooobably won't like [at least some of] what you hear.

That's all for now.  Another time I might share some audio books we've enjoyed as a family. Have a great weekend!

On Book Reviews

I really hate writing book reviews.

The truth is, I really hate writing when it takes a lot of work. Incidentally, that would explain why I've written so little in the past months but that's not what we're talking about. For me, writing a book review is a lot of work. 

I refuse to tell you how long these

blocks have been on my

dining room floor, 

stacked in various creations. 

I just keeping moving them to the wall

and sweeping and mopping around them. 

I love to read. As a young girl, I used to read voraciously. I almost forget how much I used to read until I watch my eleven year old and then I'm reminded. I'm a fast reader and if I start a good book, it's almost impossible to put it down until it's done. Somewhere along the line, when duties and responsibilities became a bigger part of my life, I all but stopped reading books. Occasionally I would have an all day/ late night fling where all of my other duties would suffer and time would stand still but mostly, I just didn't read.

In the last year or so, I've been trying to read more.  There's probably several reasons for that. It's partly just because I have the time and I've gotten into audio books but also because I know it's so good for my mind; so much better than the mindless other things I do instead. Most of the books I've been reading are ones I saw recommended by someone else. So, of course, you know what that made me think I should do.

I love the creativity so much. 

They're all crossing the street 

in the crosswalk....

But oh, dear me. Writing a book review is so much work! And I really hate writing when it takes a lot of work. 

Here's the thing. I am not good at taking a whole conversation with someone or a whole story or a whole book and relating it to someone else. My husband can come home from a meeting and, nearly verbatim, repeat to me what every person there said and did. I love it. But I don't have that ability. Of course, it probably goes back to the fact that I read too fast and can't remember half of it by the time I get done. I'm not sure how that corresponds to conversations but I have the same problem remembering those. 

We had a birthday girl last week...

And she got to have some

 friends over after school.

They had a little "tea party"...

A n y w a y.

There are several books I have read recently that maybe some of the rest of you would enjoy. I am not your typical 'book review' kind of person. I don't know my authors, I hate looking at books at thrift stores, I don't know genre and literary so forths and what have yous. We own very few books, especially when compared to a lot of readers that I know. Somehow I just never felt the need. I can get practically any book through our library system and if I buy it, there it will sit on a shelf after I've read it, and for what purpose? You book buyers feel free to argue with me and keep building bookshelves, I really don't mind; that's just not me. 

We've got our second

teen-age driver in the house. 

Those firsts don't really get less terrifying. 

I have at least four books I'd like to tell you about -- four books that I'm going to 'recommend'. I like that word better than 'review'. I don't think I'll even try to write reviews, as such. The very thought gives me a headache. And now that I have wasted all your time meandering around the subject, I think I'll leave my book recommendations for another day. 

Back soon!

PS. I don't know why I like sticking in random pictures that have nothing to do with the post. I hope you don't mind.