Monday, October 21, 2019

The Other Side Of The Camera

"There is nothing quite like the connection you share with siblings. Good times with these three over the weekend... remembering, laughing, making memories. I like us."

I spent the weekend with three of my siblings and shared those pictures and words on social media this morning. I wasn't going to but then I did anyway. 

They were true. 

We had a wonderful weekend. We talked and relaxed and laughed until we nearly cried. We did nothing and we did some sightseeing and we just enjoyed spending time with people who share our DNA and sense of humor. We ate and lounged and stayed up late and relished shedding all responsibilities. 

It is incredibly true that there is something about siblings that you will never quite find with somebody else. I am so very blessed to have a family who loves and cares about each other. 

But. 

It's also true that siblings and family are not all roses and sunshine. I've seen plenty of posts on social media just like the one I posted this morning that have left me feeling like my family must be lacking because, let's face it, there are hard things about family too. 

Sometimes the connection with siblings is painful. Sometimes there are things we don't agree with; things we wish we could change or fix. Sometimes we hurt each other or feel misunderstood. My family has a hard time getting things planned and sometimes the hassle feels like more drama than it's worth. 

My siblings and I are scattered farther apart geographically than we used to be. Since mom is gone, sometimes it's felt like we've drifted apart in other ways too. There have been times when it felt like the glue that held our family together was removed with her death and we struggled to hold together what we used to have. 

I love my family dearly. We share a connection and a heritage that I would never want to trade with anyone. Weekends like this past one make me deeply grateful for the way I was raised and the siblings God chose for me to share life with. 

But. 

I don't like to portray something that isn't the whole truth. It's too easy to show only the pretty side of the room and not turn the camera around and share the messy side as well. We hurt other people when we do that, leaving them feeling lacking and less than and not quite good enough. In the long run though, we hurt ourselves more than anyone.

And so, I wasn't going to post anything at all this morning, for that very reason. And then I did because, you know, that's just what you do. But then I felt compelled to turn the camera around and show the other side.....

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

You were a few miles from my house!! That spot is great for relaxation and connection. I get the "behind the camera" side ... Thanks for being honest about it!

Danette Martin said...

Your honesty here is so refreshing. Thank you for sharing both sides. I'm happy for you, that you got to spend some intentional time with some of your sibs.

Linda said...

Thank you for sharing this. I literally shed a tear of jealousy over your post this morning. Adult sibling relationships are *way* harder than I imagined.

Bethany Eicher said...

Oh wow! Now I'm curious who you are 😁

Bethany Eicher said...

I'm really glad we put forth the effort to make it happen!

Bethany Eicher said...

❤❤ I get the tear of jealousy thing.

Dorcas said...

Im going to try commenting again to see if it'll go through...
I could identify very well with everything you wrote! Thank you for being honest! It seems i love and appreciate my family more the older i get. At the same time, there are challenges that come... And what relationship wont have to navigate the challenges that all good relationships bring?

Anonymous said...

😁 my name is Karen and I'm pretty sure we don't know each other in real life. I do enjoy reading your posts and when you wrote about the enneagram I was pretty sure you were going to say you're a 9 ... That's what I am too and it's so nice to find out there are a few other people as weird as me. 😏

Lucinda J said...

Thank you for showing the other side. I so so so agree.