Friday, October 30, 2020

Bethany Ann 41

I'm sitting in my van, in the Aldi parking lot. I ran off for groceries this afternoon, practically giddy with excitement about getting out of the house and being alone. Who am I even?

I don't even like to shop. 

The sun nearly peeked through the clouds on the way, and I saw a little patch of blue sky! It's been a rainy, cloudy, grey week in Ohio. 

I have never, ever wanted to homeschool. I've always said I would if I had to but if there was a Christian school available, my children would be there. Well, here I am homeschooling. Who am I even?

I'm a woman living in a strange world, I guess. The truth is, I'm still not really homeschooling -- my oldest daughter is doing most of the teaching. 

This girl reads constantly. She dug into her stack of school books like a hungry bear. 

I've never been the mom who cries much over first days of school or babies going from immobile to walking but last week my two oldest left for a measly weekend with the youth and I honest to goodness got tears in my eyes. Who am I even?

You get soft in your old age, that's what. I didn't used to freak out about heights or fast driving either...

We took the opportunity to take the three youngest on a little excursion of our own last weekend, and it was great fun. 
Chris and I joined the bikers on our rollerblades and our youngsters were quite amazed.
 We also checked out Big Muskie's Bucket. 

My oldest daughter was planning to graduate this year (her 11th year) but chose to quit school when we decided to homeschool. Since the news of that circulated, she has gotten at least half a dozen job offers -- everything from cleaning to accounting to old lady sitting. I watch her with her myriad of abilities and opportunities and try to wrap my mind around the fact that I'm the mom in this scenario. Who am I even?

I don't have an answer for that one. All I know is, I don't feel nearly as old as I always thought the moms in this scenario feel.

This girl was born to teach! I love to watch her. In the mean time, she's decided to (hopefully) finish her 12th year of school next year after all. I'm kinda glad if she gets a chance to revert back to school girl for a bit again. 

No, I don't know who I am these days. 

When I was five years old, I always signed my name Bethany Ann 5 -- there are still old coloring books and story books to prove it. 

I guess this is Bethany Ann 41.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is a fun post. I'm glad I'm not the only one who's more fearful than I used to be. And how good of your daughter to be your teacher!! -Luci

Unknown said...

Love this, Bethany.

Marriage changes a person. Sometimes I wonder who I am, married. I'm guessing children change a person even more.