Leaks From My Heart and Story Time

My heart is full these days. It would seem appropriate to relieve some of the fullness on paper, lest it burst, but I'm not sure what to leak out? Do you really want to hear me raving about this man who's turning 40 today?

How he stands by the van to open my door and looks at me like this as I come walking up because he's crazy like that and I love it?

How he keeps me flexible by planning vacations and disclosing the details with a text at 3:43 p.m. that says, "2 nights. Leave in the morning by 8."?

Visiting Niagara Falls

See the Maid of the Mist?

Visiting Almanzo's childhood home

The Wilder's large barns

The fairgrounds where Almanzo took 

his prize winning pumpkin

How he cares more about spending time with his wife and children than adding to his bank account and proves it with actions, large and small?

Venturing off course to take time to throw rocks and wade in the lake just because

Noticing the trucker 

with the sense of humor

I think you might get tired of me leaking all the mushy things in my heart about the man turning 40.

Instead, I could just talk about the man I'll be celebrating 16 years of marriage with tomorrow.

How his black and white take on life brings clarity to my colored view; how his spontaneity mixes with my predictability to produce a measure of sanity; how his make-the-most-of-every-moment balances my worry-about-every-moment.... I could also talk about the many ways these differences drive me crazy but now you are all getting bored and wondering where you could find some more interesting material.

Good news for you, it's June! And that means story time on this blog. If you're new here and don't know what I'm talking about, let me explain. This will be the fourth year I am using our anniversary month to share "How We Met" stories. Each year I ask several ladies to share with me the story of how they met their spouse and then I share them here.

If you've never gone back and relived the memories and details of how you and your spouse met, maybe this month will inspire you to do so. I promise it will be a worthwhile venture!

This June I have several stories lined up to share with you again. In the mean time, you can go read our story here and you can catch up on the stories from 2014, 2015, and 2016. Happy reading!

This Man

This is the man who dries my tears,
Who makes me laugh,
Who calms my fears.

This is the man who goes off to work,
Rain, cold, or snow
Don't cause him to shirk!

This is the man who pays all the bills,
Who fixes the cars,
Builds houses on hills....

This is the man who cradles my babies,
Who teaches and trains them,
But loves best to tease.

This is the man who's flaws irritate,
Yet life without him,
I can't contemplate!

This is the man who plans big surprises,
And all of my questions
So aptly advises.

This is the man who likes to go shopping,
Who tackles a job,
No obstacles blocking.

This is the man who teaches his children,
Involves them in working,
Both ladies and young men.

This is the man who makes a fine cook,
Who chooses a food,
And follows the book.

This is the man who has made a choice,
That though he may fail,
He'll follow God's voice.

This is the man God chose me to meet,
We do life together,
He makes me complete!

Happy Birthday to This Man ......... I thank God for him!

Love and Respect

We were driving along through town a month or so ago when a billboard caught my eye. My head jerked up and I craned my neck to see. "Did that say Love and Respect Conference??" I asked the man beside me.

"What did it say? He wondered.

"I think it said something about a Love and Respect Conference April 17 and 18 at some 'Evangelical Friends' church or something like that?"

I didn't have to say anything else. Way back in 2005 or 6 I bought the book Love and Respect by Emmerson Eggerichs and my eyes were opened to a lot of things I had never accepted as truth before. Here was a man who said everything my husband had been trying to tell me, plus some more, and I couldn't pass it off as....well.... "just my husband" anymore.

I actually went so far as to record most of the book on tape so Chris would listen to it and see what he thought. I re-read the book several years later and let the truths change me in deeper ways. I forget which year it was that we planned to attend a conference at a local church in Arkansas, but bad weather cancelled the event and we never went. After we moved to Ohio a couple from church was showing the videos and we planned to join the group but it ended up not working out.

All this to say - when the billboard caught my attention, it didn't take Chris long to gather the information, register online and send me the email with our registration ticket that said we were going!

You know how it is when you've always wanted to do something but it never worked out, and when the opportunity actually comes you wonder if you really even feel like doing this anymore? Maybe that's just a Bethany trademark, I don't know, but that's how I felt. "It probably won't even be that great and there are so many other things going on that weekend..." I'm embarrassed to admit that I also entertained these thoughts, "We know all this stuff already, it's not like we're going to be hearing anything new!"

To be honest, we didn't hear a lot of new things. But we did hear a lot of things that were good reminders! I think my favorite part about the experience was spending quality time discussing the whole thing together. We gave each other "grades" on how well we do with our love and respect toward each other. We expressed our appreciation for the areas where the other does especially well at meeting a certain need. We discussed why so many people miss the "respect" half of the equation and what it has done to our culture. In short, we renewed our commitment to each other and doing our marriage God's way!

It was also fun to watch my husband listen to a speaker address the topic of marriage in such a way that left him with practically no fault to find, but that is neither here nor there...

Dr. Eggerichs is an extremely talented speaker. He has the amazing ability of weaving stories and illustrations into his speaking in ways that bring his points home and make them come alive. I was blessed by his passion for truth. Not many would have the courage to stand in front of crowds and share a message that is so contrary to our culture and warrants such disdain! I sat and listened and wished we could have brought all our friends and acquaintences with us to fill that auditorium to the max -- imagine how this message could change the world!

If you want to hear a message that has the potential to change your marriage, check out the website at loveandrespect.com and find a conference going on at a church near you. It's worth putting forth the effort to make it happen! And even if you think you've heard it all already, there's always room for reminders and renewed commitment and quality time spent with your spouse!

The Mystery Supper

I am like my mom in many ways, one of them being this: I get these big, creative brainstorms and then, for one reason or another, they never get carried out.

It all started with the School Auction. We have one here every year, see, and this year I was determined to contribute more than just food for the bake sale. (We won't go into the reasons behind that, that's another subject entirely!) A hot item at the auction in years past has been suppers - Thai Suppers, Hog Roasts, Barn Parties.....you name it!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again - I am not a cook. Cooking, especially for other people, gives me a bellyache. It stresses me, haunts me, torments me and makes me change my mind everytime I think we should have someone over. I wish I wasn't like that. I dream of being the spontanious, jolly, relaxed hostess, but there it is. I am not a cook.

So, sell a supper at the school auction? Out of the question. Period.

But, I have this creative, brainstorming mind that comes up with ideas and says them and gets me into impossible situations. See, what they should do is get the school children involved more in this stuff for the school auction. In fact, you know what would be really great? Sell a supper and have some of the children help serve it.... a Daffy supper or a Mystery supper...there you go! There's 6 girls in Jasmine's grade, we should have them help us serve a mystery supper! The idea flew out of my mouth and that's what got me in trouble - Chris got a hold of it, and *liked* it.

Not only did Chris latch on to the idea, he built on it - what we really should do is TWO Mystery suppers. One with the 5th grade girls and one with the 7th grade boys! I listened with alarm to his ideas and, in typical "Bethany" fashion, started back pedaling as hard as I could. No way! Are you crazy? Do you know how much work that would be?? Sell 24 tickets for each supper, are you out of your mind???

I'll spare you the details, but at the last possible minute the phone calls got made and the information given to the auction committee and we were committed: One Mystery Supper for 24 served by the 5th grade girls; One Mystery Supper for 24 served by the 7th grade boys served back to back evenings in November. The man in charge said it better than I could have when we told him, "Either you're really brave or a little bit crazy!"

I'll skip the gory details - the nights laying in bed going over details in my mind, the lists and lists, the frustration between husband and wife that may or may not have had something to do with my recent "10 things I know about marriage" post....... Wait. I said I would skip that part (trust me, that's a drop in the bucket)!

We ended up selling only half of the tickets, so we decided to combine the two suppers and do it all one evening. Thankfully, it suited everyone for Saturday, November 15 so Saturday, November 15 it was! And, guess what? We survived! It was even actually kinda...how can I say this.... I would have to say, if I'm honest, that I'm glad we did it and yes, it was actually kinda fun!

Chris was the Chef, I was the decorator. I made some of the food, yes, but he was in charge of all that. We did a slight twist on the Mystery Supper idea and mixed two different meals on our menu - a picnic meal and a formal meal. They had to choose between two clues for each item and the goal was to try to see how close they could get to a whole meal from one menu.

We used the church basement and had all 12 students come for the afternoon to help set up, decorate and play. They also planned two skits to do, one by the boys and one by the girls. If you've ever helped with a Mystery Supper, you know it got a little wild in the kitchen with 12 servers ages 10-12!! But we got it done and I think they all had fun doing it.

We all crashed into chairs when we got home Saturday night, exhausted, relieved and too tired to lift a finger. Except me. I proved that I'm like mom in yet one more way - I put practically everything away before crashing!

And that is the end of the story. Except the part about having a terrible sore throat and a stiff shoulder/neck and Charles keeping me awake for nearly 3 hours during the night which resulted in Chris waking me up at 10 til 9 Sunday morning and me and the littles staying home from church...where they were having communion, no less.....but we won't go into that, y'all don't have to know everything!!

PS. I'm curious how many of you noticed the mis-spelled word in the picture? Saturday night, after I finally crashed into a chair, I was showing pictures to Jennifer and Lillian and I suddenly noticed it!! All I could do was laugh. One of the girls had strung my banner for me and I never noticed and no one said anything about it!! Oh well. All's well that ends well.

The End

Be Flexible or Be Miserable

The other week, when Chris and I went on our little adventure to a wedding in PA, we were sitting with our host and hostess chatting happily. The two men were deep in the story of how the host had made the switch in occupation from farming to cheese making. Meanwhile, I was listening eagerly to the hostess recount the stories of her grandaughter's premature birth and the birth of her own daughter in their car! I picked up snatches of the men's talk here and there but suddenly I heard the host say, "Yup, be flexible or be miserable, that's what I always say!" Chris grinned appreciatively and flashed a glance at me. I rolled my eyes.

You've heard the saying "Cleanliness is next to Godliness"? I may have mentioned this fact before, I don't remember, but I'm married to a man who probably thinks the saying should be "Flexiblity is next to Godliness"!! If there's anything I've learned in our 13 years of marriage, it's a thing or three about being flexible!

He's pretty wise, my husband. Even though I grumble at the lessons in learning to be flexible and wonder if there isn't such a thing as taking a good thing to extremes, I know that a flexible person is a much happier, relaxed person. I knew immediately that the phrase "Be flexible or be miserable" would be heard often around our house!

I haven't heard it this week, not out loud anyway, but it's been going around and around in my mind. See, there's several things I really want right now. There's a couple projects I would like to get done that require some help from more than just myself - preferably my husband! But when that will happen? I don't know. Maybe last Saturday, maybe this Saturday, maybe I should just do it myself, maybe I should ask someone else...... In other words wait.and.see.for.now. Then there's a women's seminar I thought of trying to attend. Maybe, maybe not, if this happens, if that doesn't........ In other words wait.and.see.for.now. Oh, and suddenly, should we go to VA this weekend? Uhhh.... I guess we could maybe? Wait.and.see.for.now.

Me and the Lord had a talk last night. I said, "Ok God. I don't want to be miserable." Cause, honestly, that's what I was being. "I put ______________ in Your hand. If it's important for me to do that, than I trust You to work it out. If not, that's fine too." All down through my list of wait.and.see.for.now things.

It's not easy to be flexible, to hold things with an open hand when I want to demand them *now*. It's hard to let go of knowing how it will all work out and that strong desire for control! But those things do make one miserable, no question at all there, and who wants to be miserable? Not I. So flexible it must be, right up there next to Godliness!

My All Day Excursion

I am married to the Mastermind of Surprises, the Ultimate Planner of Random Fun Days, the Man With the Ideas ....you get the idea! About a month ago an email showed up in my inbox saying:

Dear Bethany

We are pleased to inform you that we have a delightful activity booked for your enjoyment on the tenth of September. Please be sure to mark your calendar. Also, if you should have any young children we request that you make arrangements for someone to care for them as this is an adults only experience. We look forward to seeing you in September.

Confession - I have blonde moments at times. (Ahem!) Ok, more times than I care to admit. But, seriously, I get so many ridiculous emails saying "Aunt So-and-So died and left you thousands of dollars...." and all this kind of nonsense and I get sick of it! So I did what I do with those emails, I gave it a cursory glance and deleted it. Dumb thing!

Later, Chris made some comment about the email I received. I can't remember exactly what he said, but it suddenly dawned on me that the email I had deleted was from him!! The next day this showed up in my inbox:

We have not received a reply concerning your all expenses paid activity on the above mentioned date. Please respond as soon as possible so we can reserve your spot on this unique opportunity. Failure to respond with enthusiasm could result in the cancellation of your confirmed reservation.

Sincerely, The Reservation Desk

Oh, what a guy! :) I returned a properly sophisticated reply of enthusiastic acceptance and went on to receive the details. Our electric co-op offers a yearly, expenses paid tour of the Cardinal Electric Plant for it's members. Chris has wanted to take advantage of it, so this year he reserved two spots for the tour, which was today!

We departed from our house at 7:15 a.m. (yes, I got up at an unearthly hour to pack lunches, drug the first grader out of bed to comb her hair....) It's times like these when it's well worth living in Grandma's yard! She gladly took over for the day and away we went to meet our bus in Cambridge!

There were about 40 of us on the bus pictured above, and we were privileged to have the gentlemen striding along in the photo as our driver. I wish I had a better picture, he was a "Dandy", as we would say! :) We rode the bus for about an hour, enjoying each other's company and snippets of conversation all around us along the way.

Once through security at the Electric Plant, we all grabbed our gear and looked more or less like the lady pictured second from top for the rest of the day =P (I should have a picture of the lady's hair after the hard hat was removed, but none are available) We split up into groups of 8 and proceeded with our guided tour of the place.

Amazing. Unbelievable. Fantastic! Truth be told, I'm not much into Electric Plants. The statistics and facts flew mostly in one ear and out the other to be honest. It was one of those days when I tried to fathom what it would be like to be a man. To stand there listening to the guide's lingo and actually make perfect sense of it all. And, not only that, have the understanding to form knowledgeable, coherant questions to ask the man! All around me were men who nodded at the answers and promptly tucked information away to bring forth later in the bus to discuss with their seatmates in animated tones. Men are amazing! And, granted, not all women are like me...

I enjoyed the tour. The sheer enormity of the equipment and complexity of the system was enough to amaze and impress whether you understood everything or not! The weather was georgous and the company delightful. It was a fun day.

After the tour, we gathered back under the tent for our choice of snacks and drink while we waited for the rest of our group. Then, it was back on the bus and off to Mehlman's Cafeteria for lunch! After we were all properly filled, (and entertained by waiters and so forth) we climbed aboard the bus once more and enjoyed our ride back to Cambridge.

There, we left the group behind and stopped here and there and ended sitting at the park for the last long while discussing things of interest. Then it was time to head back home and hug little people and talk and hear about each other's days and dole out tylenol and some holding to the little girl who's not feeling good...... Welcome Home!

So, there was my day. I love being married to This Man!