February Brighter Winter Favorites

Operation Read More Books is still going strong. I confess, I'm kinda proud of it. Using the Brighter Winter grids definitely gave me an incentive to read and great ideas for finding interesting books. I'm not the kind of person who keeps a list of "to read" books, and usually part of my reason for not reading more is the fact that I fly through books and have a hard time knowing what to read next. 

This was my stack at the beginning of February. I had fun looking for/ ordering books in through the library ahead of time and, with being able to keep books for three weeks, plus being able to renew most of them, it actually worked out pretty well. I googled ideas for "a book about books" and "a book of letters" and chose something from the selections that came up. I ended up not reading the book of letters. It was the last book I got in, and I had no idea it was going to be such a fat book! It just wasn't quite interesting enough to be worth wading through it. 

My favorite was probably "Knock At Midnight". Forgive me for just copying and pasting a description, but I can't do justice to describing the book myself:

"Brittany K. Barnett was only a law student when she came across the case that would change her life forever--that of Sharanda Jones, single mother, business owner, and, like Brittany, Black daughter of the rural South. A victim of America's devastating war on drugs, Sharanda had been torn away from her young daughter and was serving a life sentence without parole--for a first-time drug offense. In Sharanda, Brittany saw haunting echoes of her own life, as the daughter of a formerly incarcerated mother. As she studied this case, a system came into focus in which widespread racial injustice forms the core of America's addiction to incarceration. Moved by Sharanda's plight, Brittany set to work to gain her freedom.

This had never been the plan. Bright and ambitious, Brittany was a successful accountant on her way to a high-powered future in corporate law. But Sharanda's case opened the door to a harrowing journey through the criminal justice system. By day she moved billion-dollar deals, and by night she worked pro bono to free clients in near hopeless legal battles. Ultimately, her path transformed her understanding of injustice in the courts, of genius languishing behind bars, and the very definition of freedom itself.

Brittany's riveting memoir is at once a coming-of-age story and a powerful evocation of what it takes to bring hope and justice to a system built to resist them both."

It was one of those books that was hard to put down. 

My next favorite was the audio book "Still Alice".

I say it was a favorite. To be honest, I had to push myself to keep listening. Early onset dementia is a rather horrible and painful story to listen to. Not everyone is like me, but I have always had a huge dread of watching a loved one deteriorate either mentally or physically. (Incidentally, in a strange way that personal dread made my mom's sudden death easier for me in some ways.) Listening to a story that not only included watching a loved one deteriorate, but also being that loved one, was hard for me. It was a really good book though, and hard to listen to in a good kind of way. 

Last but not least, I enjoyed "The Story Of You" as well. I am well aware that the enneagram is a controversial subject and I don't intend to get into any of that here. I have found it hugely useful in understanding myself and other people, and this book was an interesting companion to "The Road Back To You", which I highly recommend to anyone interested in the enneagram. 

Using the Brighter Winter grids was fun. With their help, I read/ listened to 17 books in the first two months of 2022! I don't intend to be quite that ambitious the rest of the year, but I have been accumulating a list, and I'm challenging myself to read or listen to at least four books a month. I'm trying to gather lists from multiple genres, and the goal is to read a variety each month. I'm not great at keeping up long term challenges, so we'll see how this goes. Maybe if I report here every month it will keep me motivated!

Of course, that means I need lots of book recommendations. I'd love if you would share your favorites with me! I'm also planning to gather ideas from Gina at Home Joys, where she and her sister will be sharing reading challenges every month. 

I hope your Wednesday is as sunny as mine!

Privileged

Every February, our school has a week off for winter break. This year, we spent the week in Florida. 

We are privileged. 

Months ago, when Chris asked me if we should go somewhere for winter break this year, I said I'd be fine with staying home. Our three week trip out west last year was enough of an extravagance to last for quite some time. Later, when he commented that we may not have many more winter breaks that we're all at home, I didn't argue with his idea to go to Florida. 

We are undeniably privileged. 

He found a lovely condo at Lake Berkley Resort for a ridiculously good deal on Airbnb. Gated community, well kept buildings, plenty of space, lovely pool...

We are unquestionably privileged. 

Since the time that Isaac could hold a putter, miniature golf has been a favorite family activity. Our splurge for the week, was buying a one week, all you can play pass at a mini golf course about ten minutes from our condo. With the exception of Thursday, we played multiple rounds every day we were there. We split up and played boys and girls games, we teamed up and played best shot and alternate shot games, and a few times, only some of us played. We won't soon forget the music, the dry humor of the man behind the counter, and Charles's face when he hit his multiple, lucky, hole-in-ones. 

We are exceptionally privileged. 

We didn't have a lot of plans, other than relaxing. One evening, after mini golf, we walked the boardwalk at Disney. 

Quite the unbelievable place. 

Chris and Isaac played some disc golf one day; the rest of us hit the pool as many times as possible.

(Well, at least once a day.)

Thursday morning we got up bright and early in order to go to the beach and watch the sunrise. 

Worth it. 

Then we climbed 203 steps up the Ponce Inlet Lighthouse, and toured the surrounding keeper's houses and other outbuildings. 

Fascinating history. 

And, of course, we binged on Worst Cooks of America, Love It Or List It, Kitchen Nightmares, and the like. We'll be using pet phrases from the most hilarious moments for years to come. We cooked and we ate, we lounged and we laughed, we stayed up late and we slept in. 

We are absolutely, positively, without a doubt, extravagantly and unbelievably privileged. 

A Long Exposition of the Trials of Life

It all started with a week of meetings at church, and the resulting hectic/ crazy feeling that comes with the whole homework-right-after-school, supper-eaten-in-a-rush, going-away-every-night situation. It was all very much worth it, as listening to the speaker was like drinking deeply of cold water on a very hot and dry day! However, the pace was a little exhausting for my usual stay at home self, and my dry, brittle soul had a hard time soaking up all the water quickly enough. 

From there, we went straight into two days of school being canceled due to weather and spending just shy of 48 hours out of electricity. Fun times. 

That first night, we rounded up our meager supply of candles (I'm not really a candle person and barely have any around!) and spent a long time huddled around the table playing a game together. I was in the middle of making supper when the electricity first went off. When it came back on twenty minutes later, I finished supper up in record time, while Chris filled the bathtub with water and we gathered jugs and pitchers and water bottles and cranked up the thermostat. Living in Arkansas for ten years, where ice storms and tornado weather make power outages a semi normal occurrence has given us plenty of practice! Supper was just ready when the lights went out for good. 

We all slept cozy under plenty of blankets and I thanked the Lord for our battery operated fan that we took out west. When you sleep with a box fan on a regular basis, the silence at night makes it very difficult to sleep!

Friday morning, Chris crawled out in the darkness to dig his vehicle out and make his way to the tire shop. We spent the day (my birthday, incidentally) eating snacks and cold food and playing games in a house that stayed right at 62 degrees all day. If the roads hadn't been so bad we might have spent some time at the library, but none of else really felt like braving the ice and snow. Chris brought a generator and supper home around 5 and we rounded up heaters and cords, closed the basement door, and brought in tubs of snow to add to our bathtub-toilet-flushing supply.

What a difference one lamp makes compared to a few candles! 

When we got news that Chris's family three miles from us had power restored, our hopes got pretty high but come bedtime, we shut off the generator and piled on the blankets. The children camped out in the living room for the night and we all slept quite cozily.

Scrambled eggs!

I'll stop boring you with all the gory details. Saturday was a beautiful, sunny day! I should have gone outside to take pictures but I don't think even that would have done justice to the glittering beauty. 

There was great rejoicing when the electricity came on around 3:30 on Saturday! I immediately tackled piles of dishes and a filthy bathroom. Everyone was feeling quite happy, with hot showers and spaces restored to order, when the house went black again around 8:30. To our relief, the outage only lasted about an hour and a half. We went to bed in comfort, with the heat on and the box fan humming. 

Monday was back to real life with a vengeance. The four oldest headed out early for their Bible Quiz Meet that had been canceled on Friday. Charles went to school, and I tackled piles of laundry. When Jasmine called me around noon to say that Lillian fell on the ice and hurt her arm pretty bad, my heart sank to my toes. I was already feeling a little guilty that I hadn't gone along to be the good mom who supports her children and now I felt doubly bad for not being there! All I could do, was pray a lot of prayers for them that afternoon and make a doctor appointment for Tuesday morning. At three, when I couldn't get the car backed out of its icy spot to go pick up Charles, I could only shake my head and say, "Ok Lord, just whatever you think."

I didn't sleep very well Monday night. Every time I woke up, all I could think about was dreading being the parent to take Lillian to the doctor. I know, it probably sounds silly. But doctor appointments are one of my Very Worst Things -- especially ones where I know I will probably be sent here and there and will have to make decisions. I can't ever think of the right questions to ask and I am directionally challenged in the worst way! When Charles woke up feeling sick and I discovered he was running a temperature, and Chris ended up being the parent to go to the appointment, I felt a little dumbfounded at the way God took care of things.

The day was quite bizarre but long story short (after x-rays and coming back home and then getting x-ray results and many phone calls and Chris coming back to head to another doctor in a different town) they diagnosed it as a buckle fracture in her upper, left arm. She didn't get a cast, just a sling, with instructions for stretches and a return visit next week for an x-ray to check that it's healing properly. 

This morning I woke up to more fever and another day of children at home and laying down all my plans for the day once again. I was feeling rather whiny about my life, until I remembered how small my problems really are. Buckle fractures and fevers will pass; I have fond memories of power outages as a child and I hope my children will too. I'm not facing a cancer diagnosis or a death, and the errands that need to be run and the things I wanted to do will wait. The sun is shining and life is, after all, quite good!

Sometimes dumping one's trials into sympathetic ears + refocusing on one's blessings is the best medicine. 

P.S. Thanks for being my sympathetic dumping place, I'll be glad to return the favor in the comments!

January Brighter Winter Favorites

I filled in most of the challenges for January! Let me tell you about a few of them...

Over Christmas, our family booked an Airbnb near Ripley, Ohio to spend the weekend just being together and relaxing. One of the days we were there, we did a little sightseeing down along the Ohio river. We specifically stopped to see this landmark:

But then enjoyed reading more history about the houses along the river. I've always loved stories about the underground railroad -- inspired largely, I believe, by A Lantern In The Window being read for story time at school when I was in maybe third grade. (Incidentally, there's a great audio version of that book that I got through the library recently...)

Anyway. 

After seeing/reading lots of information about John Parker, and seeing there was a book about his life called His Promised Land, I promptly put it on hold at the library for my January reading!

I thoroughly enjoyed it. His Promised Land tells amazing stories of John Parker's own life as a slave, and then his incredible accounts of helping other slaves find freedom. It made the book doubly interesting to have just seen the house and area where many of the stories took place!

I would say the most intriguing book I read in January was a recommendation I had seen for a book written in 2021:

Blythe's stories about tutoring children in upper class New York are mind boggling. I think, perhaps, I found her stories extra fascinating because I had recently listened to my brother telling his experiences of teaching in the opposite public school spectrum. Both extremes are equally foreign to my small world! I got lost amongst some of her detailed percentages and statistics, but overall the book was highly interesting. 

The book that kept me enthralled and on the edge of my seat was this one:

I listened to the audio version and the reader was amazing. Told through alternating voices in present day and Nazi-occupied Poland, the author weaves a spellbinding, heartbreaking story that will leave you unsure of the ending until... well... the end. While the book is technically fiction, the story is inspired by the author's own family history, and the events of wartime Poland are highly plausible. The things those people went through are both horrifying and inspiring, all at the same time.

I'd say out of the ten books I read in January, those were my top three favorites. But maybe that's just because, apart from Mr Revere And I (a new to me middle grade book I picked off of a library shelf because it also had a yellow cover), they were the only first time reads out of my stack. 

The rest - plus the Gospel of Matthew and the audio version of The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn - I had all read before. 

And now, on this dreary evening while we wait for the rain to turn to ice/ snow, I can mark off the February challenge to "tell someone about a book you read for Brighter Winter".......

Cheerio! 

Potpourri

Morning views...

Winter has officially come to stay! We've had snow on the ground for a good week and a half and it doesn't look like it will be disappearing anytime soon. It is a bright, sparkling, freezing cold morning, and I am quite happy to stay at home in my warm house. 

It is the time of year to dread the lane and the roads. It is also the time of year to be grateful for concrete and pavement that melt quickly into a clear driveway when the top layer of snow is removed! It is also the year to discover with joy that my daughter did not inherit my phobia of snowy roads and can navigate those such as pictured above without knots in her stomach and trembling in her limbs. I shall enjoy this discovery to the fullest while I can!

A couple of random tidbits for you today...

Did you know that command hooks are just the thing for a myriad of purposes?

Maybe I shared this before, but we've been using them to store toothbrushes ever since we moved into this house. Upstairs, they're inside the vanity door and downstairs, they're inside a deep drawer. Works perfectly. 

Did you know that there is storage space on the inside of your cupboard doors? Me either. 

You can, indeed, hang measuring cups on the back of a cupboard door and it still shuts perfectly. So far, I love this storage solution. So much handier than any other way that I've stored my measuring cups in twenty years of marriage! The only downside is that they clatter when you shut the cupboard door, but I can live with that. 

I'm gathering my stack of reading material for my February reading challenges! I am really enjoying reading more. I'll tell you about some of the books I'm reading when we get to February (Obvious solution for the challenge "Tell someone about a book you read for Brighter Winter").

Chris and I enjoyed a company paid getaway last weekend. We booked the cutest, tiny Post Office turned Airbnb you ever did see and hunkered down for two nights to do pretty much nothing but watch it snow and enjoy each other. 

Our hosts were the epitome of 'above and beyond' -- venturing out in the snow multiple times throughout the day to keep our porch and pathway shoveled, providing us with water the first night when we discovered the water was frozen (those unexpected adventures that make for memories!) and then refunding over half of our bill, even though water was restored before morning. 

Me, after our host had bustled in with a space heater for the frozen pipe and a jug of drinking water and a bucket of water to flush the commode: It's ok! We'll be fine. 

Her: It's not ok!! 

Good times. 

And now I must stop this rambling and go take care of laundry and work on a dress for a daughter in need of clothing... 

Happy Tuesday!

The Trade-off That Is Social Media: A Guest Post

 * This article was written by my oldest daughter, Jasmine, as a school assignment. In light of last week's post, I thought it would be good content to share here. It is important to note, that she not only produced a very well researched and well written piece, she also walks out her talk. I don't know very many 17 year olds who delete their social media accounts of their own accord, but she is one of them. Her article, but even more her practical walking out of it, are a challenge to her mother. 

Used by permission.

--also by Jasmine

 --------------------------------------------------------

Social media has become a normal part of our everyday lives as Americans. It is defined by Oxford Languages as "websites and applications that enable users to create and share content or to participate in social networking." It has allowed us to remain connected with friends, family, and/or random acquaintances, whether they are overseas, five blocks away, or in the next room.

It would be useless for me to argue that social media doesn't bring benefits. It does, by allowing us to share information efficiently, keep abreast of current events, and (let's be honest) find entertainment whenever we so desire. I will argue, however, that the drawbacks of social media should cause its users to proceed with intention, realizing that every minute spent on social media does involve a trade off.

According to statistics.com, last year the average American spent just over two hours per day using social media. Assuming a healthy eight hours of rest each night, and the leftover time (sixteen hours) as waking hours, that means one eighth of the average American's day is spent on social media. This means that (again, assuming a sixteen hour day), one out of every eight days is used up entirely with social media. This comes out to just over forty-five days each year, which is roughly a month and a half. In the larger scheme of things, the statistic reads this way: "The average American devoted one out of every eight years (in terms of waking hours) exclusively to the use of social media."

Although the amount of time spent on social media is, in itself, enough to cause at least mild concern, the effects of this obsessive usage on the brain are far more noteworthy. Cal Newport, author of Deep Work and Digital Minimalism, has done extensive research on the subject. In Deep Work, he describes the way social media destroys our ability to do just that.

By fragmenting our attention into tiny bits and pieces with notifications and constant distraction, our phones have effectively robbed us of the capabilities required to do deep, meaningful work. Constantly breaking up your attention to "quickly check the phone" all throughout the day, can permanently reduce your ability to concentrate, according to Newport. This is problematic, considering that concentration is precisely what is needed to perform any kind of meaningful work. By remaining at the beck and call of your phone's every ding, you are trading your ability to concentrate deeply for the privilege of keeping up with the outside world. Is this actually worth your while?

The evidence would tend to suggest that it certainly is not. Researchers have actually found a correlation between media usage and depression levels. One study found that those who spent a greater amount of time using social media daily, experienced more depression and loneliness than those who spent a small portion of their time.(penntoday.upenn.edu) I didn't make that up. Americans are devoting, on average, two hours per day to the possible erosion of their emotional well-being.

However, the most important area to pay attention to is the effects of social media on our personal growth. One of the most obvious downsides of social media, in relation to us meeting our personal goals, is simply the easy distraction it provides. For many, social media becomes an escape from the realities, problems, and struggles of real life. It is a place to run and hide and, conveniently, we don't have to run far, since our phones are probably in our hands already. All we have to do is make a few taps on the screen, and we can slip peacefully away down the river of escape.

This is only one type of distraction, though. The other (and arguably most common) form of distraction we encounter happens when we are pursuing our goals.

Even when we have made a conscious decision to plow ahead with life, rather than fleeing reality through an app, we are prone to distraction from our phones through notifications, a need to check the news, or a sudden realization that we forgot to like our friend's last post. This type of distraction results in a half-in, half-out approach to life, and seriously hurts the quality and efficiency of our real-world interactions. Living in state of distraction, either through fleeing reality, or through multitasking, makes it more difficult for us to pursue dreams, enjoy friends and hobbies, and meet goals.

This carries over into our spiritual lives, too. A half-in, half-out approach to knowing God and spending time with Him doesn't work. Hearing the voice of God and learning to know Him requires our full attention, and our phones are keeping us from that.

Social media gets in the way of our personal growth, not only because it is distracting, but also because it is time consuming. We have been given exactly twenty-four hours in every day, and each minute that is spent on social media is a minute which cannot be spent on something else. If you are one of the many who cannot seem to find enough time in a day to pursue your dreams and goals, maybe social media is the culprit that keeps sneaking off with it. If that is the case, are you willing to continue to sacrifice those dreams and goals on the altar of social media?

There is a lot of conflicting information about social media use on the internet. The effects of social media do vary from person to person, and I am speaking in very generalized terms for that reason. For some people, there are legitimate benefits to be gained from the use of social media: support, new ideas, and a healthy community, for example. For them, these benefits outweigh the cost of time and attention that come with social media usage.

Personally, I find that as I spend more time in the real world and less time on my phone, I have less anxiety, I am more productive, and I actually feel better connected to friends and family because the encounters I do have with them happen face to face. In most cases, the benefits of social media in my own life are not great enough to justify the costs.

Because the costs and benefits of social media vary from person to person, it is necessary to evaluate the way you personally are using it, and whether or not the benefits outweigh the costs for you.

Andrew Sullivan, whose health was suffering due to fifteen crazy years of daily updating, posting, and reposting on his political blog, "The Dish", finally took a good look at his own media life. He later wrote the following: "I began to realize, as my health and happiness deteriorated, that this was not a both-and kind of situation. It was either-or. Every hour I spent online was not spent in the physical world. Every minute I was engrossed in a virtual interaction, I was not involved in a human encounter. Every second absorbed in some trivia was a second less for any form of reflection, or calm, or spirituality."

It took him fifteen years to realize that, unbeknownst to him, technology was stealing his sanity. It's up to you to make sure it doesn't take yours.

Operation Read More Books

If you're going to be sick for many many days, a reading challenge isn't a bad idea...

For a very long time, I have struggled with curbing my (call it what it is) addiction to social media. I've tried any number of different strategies/ disciplines -- short of deleting my accounts altogether -- and still I tend to fall back into the struggle. What I've realized, is that I not only need some disciplines to help with my problem, I also have to have something to replace that addiction/ time filler/ distraction. So, at the start of the new year, I had decided to make it a goal to read more books. 

As a young girl, I devoured books. I remember the "bookworm" my first grade teacher had us create, and the many circles I proudly filled out with completed titles to add to the growing caterpillar on the wall. I loved to read. Marriage and children curbed that love quite a bit. I am notorious for not being able to stop reading a book until it is finished, and reading into the wee hours or losing myself in a story for half a day didn't mix too well with mothering. 

Then the era of the internet came along, and my reading turned from books, to blog posts and short snippets online. Reading a short post while nursing my babies was perfect, and I followed many blogs for a number of years. I found a lot of encouragement and inspiration from those ladies I followed. Gradually, blog posts have dwindled on the accounts that I follow, and my online reading has consisted more and more of scrolling social media. I still find a lot of encouragement and inspiration but there is also a tremendous amount of "filler". I've realized lately, how much this diet has affected my concentration and attention span. I am so used to grabbing little mouth fulls, that it has actually become difficult for me to sit with a book and immerse myself. 

Hence, the goal to read more books. 

The past few years, Daughters of Promise has done a "Brighter Winter Reading Program" for the months of January and February. This year, I decided to sign up and download their reading grids. I did it more for some inspiration and creative reading ideas than for any prizes or competition. 

I have a long way to go to be the eager first grader filling out caterpillar circles (not so sure that's even my goal, honestly) and I'll never be one of the big time readers with all the lists of authors and books to be read, but Brighter Winter has definitely been a fun boost toward my goal of reading more in 2022.

On another note, it has indeed been a long week of sickness at this house that continues to drag on and on. Any must read suggestions I should put on my reading list?