There is no fear in love.......

I sat with you in Sunday School yesterday, bench upon bench of women and me in the middle. I nodded as the talk flowed about pain and following through uncharted waters. I listened as verses and thoughts were shared and prayer requests were unburdened. I felt empty and small and lonely in the midst of the crowd but my mouth went dry and my prayer requests stuck in my throat so I sat with my back aching and said nothing. It wasn't your fault I felt out of place. If I would have asked each of you personally, you would have all said your life had the same goal as mine: to be a faithful follower of God. The trouble lay in my heart as I looked at the externals and refused to be vulnerable. Maybe it was ok to be silent. Maybe the tears would have come too freely and the sympathetic eyes would have been too much and it was not the time and place. But my selfish heart was not ok! My fear of man and intense focus on me rather then the needs and hearts of you who sat so close around me was the problem. I John 4:18