17 Things From 17 Years: Post 4

#4: Men and women really do think differently, act differently, speak differently; they speak different languages. Live like you believe it.

We all know this; we've heard it since forever -- Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti; Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus; The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs ... Right off the top of your head you can think of a stack of books on the subject and that's not even scratching the surface.

How many couples actually live like they believe it?

I'm not your bright and shining example of this. In the book Love And Respect, Emerson Eggerichs talks about men and women seeing, hearing and speaking in different colors. I confess that far too often I revert back to doing life through my pink lenses. In the heat of a moment, I forget to stop and think, "Oh, wait. He has blue hearing aids and he really is hearing disrespect, no matter how much I honestly did not mean it that way."

If I believe something, it changes the way I live.

Last fall, at church camping, our four year old wandered off and got lost. It was a terrifying experience; one that I still can't think about for too long. Before that happened, I would have never thought that he would do that. I would have said I didn't think he was that type. Now? You better believe I've kept a close tab on that child ever since. Belief makes all the difference.

We're not going to change the differences in men and women's thinking; we were made that way for a reason. But we can learn about the differences, believe that they're true and then adjust the way we relate accordingly.

Again, I'm not your poster child for this. Chris is my shining example in this area and I've learned a lot from him! I didn't realize it at first, but at least half of the rest of my posts are directly related to this whole idea. It's so, so important in a marriage.