About My Father's Business

Words don't come easily these days. I ache to write. I start and I stop and I delete. The words and ideas, the feelings and thoughts and questions, they tangle themselves up somewhere between mind and keyboard, they refuse to march out in neat, tidy rows. Then too, I've been busy. Every time I think I'll catch a minute and untangle my brain, the minute passes before I've hardly begun.

So, what is going around in your mind, you ask? Lots of things. Little things. Big things. Things I feel uncertain about putting out there for the world to see. Things like "Why don't we mothers view our 'job' the same way our men view theirs?" Things like "There's got to be some way to beat this everlasting what's-for-supper? question every night!" Things like "What have we Mennonites done to our definition of 'church' and what is God's definition?" Things like "Why do I always say I'll do things and despair over them later?" Things like "What do we Anabaptists mean by saying we believe in living simply?" ...........lots and lots of things......

You may remember that on two different occasions I've taken up the challenge to write on one subject for a whole month? Well, I think I heard the Lord saying I should do it again. I think I even heard Him giving me a subject. It all feels very muddled and unfocused and the easiest thing in the world for me would be to wonder if I made it all up - to push it aside and say I just can't figure it out!

But, I know what happens when I don't listen to that voice. So, I'm trying to keep an open hand and rest and wait patiently and trust that if He wants me to write it, He will untangle it and make it crystal clear. And while I wait I'll make cookies and cinnamon rolls and pies and help with the school Auction. I'll listen to little girls laborously reading their first grade reader and answering Math flashcards. I'll try to be understanding with disappointing things on report cards, yet somehow encourage growth and development of character. I'll relish little boy hugs and two little people holding songbooks and singing lustily. I'll encourage talks with my big girl and make sure my husband knows how important and loved he is. I'll cook and clean and wash and do it all over again and again.

In short, I'll go on being About My Father's Business and we shall see what we shall see.

A few minutes grabbed...

I sit on the bathroom step, desperately trying to carve out a few minutes for words. Life has been a crazy rat race of busy lately and so many things have slipped away w/o making it from mind to keyboard. I am tempted to mourn the loss of so many words formulated in mind, but not recorded! Words are important to my life, and finding time to let them flow out and stand, like little monuments along my journey, is life giving for me. Sometimes though, I have to accept the fact that life itself is even more important than my journal of words. That canning the beans, and packing and unpacking the suitcases, and re-filling drawers with clean laundry, and making birthday cakes and presents and holding fussy babies is life giving to these people around me who make up my life. And if it is true that "He who will lose his life shall find it..." than the giving and losing are more important than anything else. Still, if a few minutes on the bathroom step can be grabbed while laundry spins an children babble happy...

Playing Church

Sometimes I get too busy being a mom. The endless washing clothes, preparing food, cleaning up the dirty dishes, picking up toys, changing diapers, answering "why" for the 999th time, settling yet another fuss, cleaning the house, straightening up the house, picking up the toys, making the children help with the work....whew! I'm exhausted! Yesterday was that kind of a day. Suddenly I realized I was too busy being a mom! I told the 2 oldest to think of something fun they'd like to do. They chose writing things on slips of paper and putting them in plastic eggs. So we spent the evening playing Blitz, Go Fish, Memory, church (Yes! Complete with devotions, sermon, the whole bit! Hilariously fun! My baby doll was so naughty :) ), and ending with a long walk. I still have a gargantuan stack of dishes in my sink from canning salsa and pizza sauce yesterday. They dont look any prettier this morning. Still, something tells me playing church w/ a naughty baby doll ranks a lot higher then any stack of dishes!