Back To School

I don't think it has soaked into my brain yet that today was the first day of school. Feels totally unreal that this morning began an endless row of mornings prodding people to get up and get dressed and get their breakfast eaten and combing hair and tying shoes and making lunches and getting everyone out the door on time with no forgotten items left in our wake.

I enter this school year with a strange mixture of feelings. On the one hand I dread the adjustment. I wish I could fast forward two weeks to the time when early bed times are the norm and packing lunches has become routine and the morning schedule has fallen into somewhat of an orderly fashion. On the other hand I have this exhilerating feeling of "Yes! They're all going out the door and I'll have all these hours to do things!!"

It's a strange feeling to have only a two year old at home when you're used to five children and their noise and drama taking up every minute of every day. It's been a good summer, but sometimes the close quarters and the constant chaos leaves me feeling so used up that I almost forget that I *like* these people and enjoy spending time with them!

I remember when I was young and my mom would be getting ready to go away for the day and we were supposed to clean the house or whatever jobs she had assigned us to do while she was gone. We would putter around just waiting for her to head out the door, minds racing with all the things we planned to do as soon as she left. We could hardly wait for her to drive out the lane so we could dive into the work and maybe surprise her with some extra project she hadn't even told us to do.

That's how I feel about school starting this year.

I hope there are some more moms out there who understand what I am feeling. I must admit I feel a bit guilty putting my feelings out there. Like I should be sitting at home with kleenx in hand, thinking how sad it is to have only one who's not in school! It is kinda sad, don't get me wrong. And next week I'll probably be wishing for somebody to entertain the little guy so I can get something done or wishing somebody was around to wash the stack of dishes and run out and bring clothes in off the line. Right now though, I'll just be honest, I can't wait til they get out that door to see what all I can do with all those quiet hours of not settling fusses or answering questions or giving instructions! Come 3:00 I'll be eager to welcome the noise back to my world; to listen to their stories and hear what they learned and remember that, "Ahh, yes. I do like these people!"