Wednesday, January 17, 2018

January Q & A: #4 Weddings

Question #4:

"How are Conservative Mennonite weddings different from mainstream Christian weddings?"

The answer to this question varies widely from church to church and has changed greatly in the past 15-20 years. Again, I will give my own experience by contrasting my own wedding day with the little I know about mainstream Christian weddings; keep in mind that I've only attended a handful of those.


First of all, we were cute; really cute.

I'm not sure that it's really fair to compare my wedding because I am a very basic, plain kind of person and my wedding reflected just that.

*My Wedding
>Mainstream Christian Wedding

*Special (special-ish; mine was really simple), white cape dress; no veil or train
>Elaborate white dress with veil and train

*Large gathering of family and friends (225 or so at ours, which was on the small side)
>Small gathering of family and friends

*Groom and groomsmen did not walk in first and wait for bride; we walked in together
>Groom and groomsmen walk in and wait for the bride

*My father did not give me away
Father gives bride away

*Opening, singing, short devotions and a sermon before the vows
>Not sure on the particulars but definitely something shorter in length before the vows

*Vows, pronouncing of husband and wife, no unity candle, no wedding rings, no "You may kiss the bride"
>Vows, pronouncing of husband and wife, unity candle, wedding rings, "You may kiss the bride"

*No elaborate wedding cake (I actually had no wedding cake)
>Elaborate wedding cake


*Reception with decorated tables and a full course meal (ours was not a large meal) for everyone afterward
>Cake and punch or small snack for everyone afterward

I'm not sure how true a picture this really is. A number of the things we did not do at our wedding are quite commonly done --- groom and groomsmen walking in first, father giving the bride away, unity candle, wedding cake --- but this gives you a bit of a picture.

And then they live happily ever after.....


5 comments:

Carol W. said...

My first marriage (1977; he died in 2002) was a Christian ceremony, lacey gown & short veil, 30 relatives, buffet style food, wedding cake. My second marriage (2011) was also a Christian ceremony but with Sunday clothes, in the pastor's house, 2 witnesses, buffet restaurant for reception. After reading your explanation of a Mennonite wedding, I think I prefer that (except for the 225 people, lol) over a Christian wedding as I prefer a simple minimalist lifestyle now. Thank you for sharing this post. God bless you both and your family.

Anonymous said...

A very difficult question to answer indeed. Coming from an area with just about every version of mennonite group imaginable as well as many other Christian groups, and having attended numerous weddings of different sorts I can assure you that there is a wide range of what you describe amongst both Mennonites and others...:) From plain and simple in a non-mennonite setting to all the 'bells and whistles' in a mennonite setting I think I've seen it all (!) A most interesting topic -- just thought I would add this to give it perspective.... And as a side note here in Canada I'm not sure if I have ever heard of a 'just cake and punch' reception... I think that is more often seen in the USA and that is changing in many parts as well :)

Anonymous said...

Something that was important to my dad was that the bridal party walks in and is seated before the service starts. "Why would you want to be late to your own wedding?" he would ask. However, those of our family who followed that procedure were very much in the minority in our circles.

And a bit of a side note. Someone not familiar with Amish weddings was marveling at "how long it takes you to tie the knot." His Amish friend replied, "You haven't seen many of them become untied have you?" LRM

Betsy said...

This was an interesting topic. When we married in 1978 I wore my mothers long ivory colored dress and a short veil. She wore it in 1944. We had a punch and cake reception with about 140 people. We’ve been married 39 years now and have raised three children. I still love him more than I ever could have imagined at the time we said our vows. He is such a kind and wonderful man. An Elder in our church, he lives to serve everyone before himself. I have been blessed.
The book from you arrived today. Thank you so much for both the book and your note.
Blessings,
Betsy

Regina said...

Thank you Bethany. I would love to attend a Mennonite wedding. And you and your husband are still really cute. Adorably cute I might add.😊